Crap. I kept hoping I'd find him scribbling in a notebook in some greasy spoon diner. Though, admittedly, this was my fear all along.
Sometimes you wrassle the monster and other times the monster wrassles you.
So long Spaulding. Here's hoping you found your perfect moment.
Discuss
Monday, March 08, 2004
Did You Ever Notice?
By a freak coincidence of random file grabbing, my computer decided to play Ben Folds Five's "Brick" and the Beatles' "She's Leaving Home" back to back today. (Note to the RIAA: I own both CDs and placed the files on my computer for my own personal enjoyment. And, were it not for this technology, I would not have had this wonderful occurrence happen to me. So bite me.)
It struck me because, I think both songs are about the same girl, or an archetype at least. Though the story in the songs are different (unless you listen to the theory about the "Man from the motor trade", though it doesn't float well in the context of this song) I feel like the girl lying on the couch and the girl crawling out the window into the night are two versions of the same girl. Both feel empty and unloved. Not a strange area for Ben Folds, but for Paul McCartney it must have been very difficult for him not to infuse the song with a nice Gilbert & Sullivan blast of excitement.
I could be wrong. I could be right. You say yes, I say no . . . whatever. But read the lyrics and decide for yourself. Perhaps these are two possible outcomes for the same girl. Though the narrator of "Brick" is more callous and emotionally detached from the girl. Argue if you will, but, according to him, the girl he's driven to get an abortion is drowning him. Nice. (Which is Ben's point.)
Brick
6 am, day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The Smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the Stairs, to her apartment
She is Balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And We drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
I walk down, to buy her flowers
And sell gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Than she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me "Son, It's time
To tell the truth" and
She broke down
And I broke down
Cause I was tired, of lying
Driving back, to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
and she's alone
and I'm alone
now I know it
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
She's Leaving Home
Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begins,
Silently closing her bedroom door,
Leaving the not that she hoped would say more,
She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her handkerchief,
Quietly turning the back door key,
Stepping outside she is free,
She (We gave her most of our lives),
Is leaving (Sacrificed most of our lives),
Home (We gave her everything money could buy)
She's leaving home after living alone for so many years,
Bye, bye
Farther snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown,
Picks up the letter that's lying there,
Standing alone at the top of the stairs,
She breaks down and cries to her husband,
Our baby's gone,
Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly,
How could she do this to me,
She (We never thought of ourselves)
Is (Never a thought for ourselves)
Home (We struggled hard all our lives to get by)
She's leaving home after living alone for so many years,
Bye, bye,
Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away,
Waiting to keep the appointment she made,
Meeting a man from the motor trade,
She (What did we do that was wrong)
Is having (We didn't know it was wrong)
Fun (Fun is the one thing that money can't buy)
Something inside that was always denied,
For so many years,
Bye, bye,
She's leaving home,
Bye, bye
Anyway . . . I return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Discuss
It struck me because, I think both songs are about the same girl, or an archetype at least. Though the story in the songs are different (unless you listen to the theory about the "Man from the motor trade", though it doesn't float well in the context of this song) I feel like the girl lying on the couch and the girl crawling out the window into the night are two versions of the same girl. Both feel empty and unloved. Not a strange area for Ben Folds, but for Paul McCartney it must have been very difficult for him not to infuse the song with a nice Gilbert & Sullivan blast of excitement.
I could be wrong. I could be right. You say yes, I say no . . . whatever. But read the lyrics and decide for yourself. Perhaps these are two possible outcomes for the same girl. Though the narrator of "Brick" is more callous and emotionally detached from the girl. Argue if you will, but, according to him, the girl he's driven to get an abortion is drowning him. Nice. (Which is Ben's point.)
Brick
6 am, day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The Smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the Stairs, to her apartment
She is Balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And We drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
I walk down, to buy her flowers
And sell gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Than she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me "Son, It's time
To tell the truth" and
She broke down
And I broke down
Cause I was tired, of lying
Driving back, to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
and she's alone
and I'm alone
now I know it
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
She's Leaving Home
Wednesday morning at five o'clock as the day begins,
Silently closing her bedroom door,
Leaving the not that she hoped would say more,
She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her handkerchief,
Quietly turning the back door key,
Stepping outside she is free,
She (We gave her most of our lives),
Is leaving (Sacrificed most of our lives),
Home (We gave her everything money could buy)
She's leaving home after living alone for so many years,
Bye, bye
Farther snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown,
Picks up the letter that's lying there,
Standing alone at the top of the stairs,
She breaks down and cries to her husband,
Our baby's gone,
Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly,
How could she do this to me,
She (We never thought of ourselves)
Is (Never a thought for ourselves)
Home (We struggled hard all our lives to get by)
She's leaving home after living alone for so many years,
Bye, bye,
Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away,
Waiting to keep the appointment she made,
Meeting a man from the motor trade,
She (What did we do that was wrong)
Is having (We didn't know it was wrong)
Fun (Fun is the one thing that money can't buy)
Something inside that was always denied,
For so many years,
Bye, bye,
She's leaving home,
Bye, bye
Anyway . . . I return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
Discuss
Friday, March 05, 2004
Quick Update Again
I know, I know. I said I wouldn't update. Blah.
But, I thought this was important to note. Last week I was the number 5 result in Yahoo for "Boobah." I have since dropped down very far in the rankings, much to the relief of worried parents all over the world.
However, I am now the number five result on Google for "Boobah Penis". Yeah.
More importantly, I am the top search result for Purple Fuzz Monkey.
And that is all that matters.
Oh, and thank you to those who handed out curses. I have won the battle. Buy each other some beer, would ya?
But, I thought this was important to note. Last week I was the number 5 result in Yahoo for "Boobah." I have since dropped down very far in the rankings, much to the relief of worried parents all over the world.
However, I am now the number five result on Google for "Boobah Penis". Yeah.
More importantly, I am the top search result for Purple Fuzz Monkey.
And that is all that matters.
Oh, and thank you to those who handed out curses. I have won the battle. Buy each other some beer, would ya?
Quick Announcement
I know, I know. I said I would be on a mental vacation. And I am. But, I have something to tell you.
Young Matlida, with her very first science project, placed first in the Third Grade and won the school award for Best Verbal Presentation.
The best part is, we didn't even know she had to do a verbal presentation. She did it completely off the cuff. I'm pretty certain the reason why she won the awards is because the project was all her own. She came up with her own experiment, designed the process, developed her hypothesis and how many trials she had to go through in order to validate her data. Her write up was fantastic as well.
Now that we have the hang of this thing, I know that next year she'll get honors and go on to the district competition. And then . . . the world will be ours!
Okay. Back to my mental vacation.
Discuss
Young Matlida, with her very first science project, placed first in the Third Grade and won the school award for Best Verbal Presentation.
The best part is, we didn't even know she had to do a verbal presentation. She did it completely off the cuff. I'm pretty certain the reason why she won the awards is because the project was all her own. She came up with her own experiment, designed the process, developed her hypothesis and how many trials she had to go through in order to validate her data. Her write up was fantastic as well.
Now that we have the hang of this thing, I know that next year she'll get honors and go on to the district competition. And then . . . the world will be ours!
Okay. Back to my mental vacation.
Discuss
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Around the Dark Side of the Moon
I'll be out of radio contact for a little while. I'm taking a short mental vacation.
In the meantime, go talk to my wife. Her posts are usually much funnier than mine.
In the meantime, go talk to my wife. Her posts are usually much funnier than mine.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Yargh
There is someone with whom I am very angry with at this moment. Someone who has publicly accused me of doing things that I, in fact, did not do. Rather, he took the truth and decided to twist it to his own benefit. I’m hoping that tomorrow he wakes up and has this stuck in his head. Playing until it turns his brain into goo, begins to leak out of his face and he slips on the liquefied gray matter as he walks across the room. When he falls, he will hit his head, causing him to lose his voice. Without his voice, he can’t tell anyone that Leo Sayer is stuck in his head and he will just have to feel like dancin’ for years and years and years.
It’s okay, I have the emails he and I sent back and forth proving otherwise.
You know what? Feel free to come up with your own curses and post them to the discussion link below. That way we can all have fun psychically torturing this ass clown.
Discuss
It’s okay, I have the emails he and I sent back and forth proving otherwise.
You know what? Feel free to come up with your own curses and post them to the discussion link below. That way we can all have fun psychically torturing this ass clown.
Discuss
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
A Conversation
I drove young Gertrude to her Grandma’s today because Mommy is sick. She begged us again to stay with Mommy and Daddy, but in the end was swayed to go to grandma’s because I had a bag full of Teddy Grahams. A treat few people can resist. (Seriously, I eat the things by the fistful.)
I loaded everything in the car. Her bag, her cough medicine in case her cough comes back, a change of clothes, an extra pair of shoes, a cell phone should she wander off and get lost, a satellite transponder for easy location should she get lost in Grandma’s basement (trust me), pictures of Mommy and Daddy, lest she forget us, a cup filled with juice, her teddy grahams and my coffee.
Before she could get into her car seat, we had to buckle Dolly® (as a smart child, she subscribes to the literal naming policies set forth in her branch of philosophy) into the seat next to her. After all, should there be a car wreck, Dolly® would fly all over the place and possibly cause great bodily damage to one and all, and therefore she must be contained. Then, after running through a checklist and series of adjustments to her five-point safety harness that would put NASA to shame, we were ready to hit the road.
She was quiet for the first few minutes. Then the flood gates opened. This is an actual conversation:
Gertrude: Dolly® is my friend.
Me: That’s good!
Gertrude: She likes cake.
Me: What kind?
Gertrude: Chocolate. Or vabmilla. (I assume she meant vanilla and not some sort of medicine for treating yeast infections.)
Me: Wow. What do you guys do together?
Gertrude: Play games. And tag. I like to hide her.
Me: Okay. With her permission, I assume.
Gertrude: Of course! (Don’t know where she learned this.)
Me: So, who is Dolly’s® mommy?
Gertrude: Um. Dolly®’s mommy?
Me: Yes. Dolly’s® mommy. (Clearly I’ve touched on a sore subject here. I hope that Dolly® doesn’t have some deep dark secret in her past . . .)
Gertrude: Um. I can’t dermember the word.
Me: (Trying not to laugh)You can’t remember the word?
Gertrude: No! Oh wait! I dermember! Cinderella.
Me: Cinderella is Dolly’s® mommy?
Gertrude: Sure. I did it all by myself! I can do it!
Me: Do what?
Gertrude: Dermember the word! I do it all by myself!
Me: Yay!
Gertrude: Yay!
Then we were at Grandma’s. She became all clingy and sad as soon as we arrived. A nutrigrain bar and a glass of apple juice seemed to change her mind.
“Bye,” she said, “drive careful!”
You know, it’s funny. She’s only two years old and she gave me one of the best conversations I’ve had in a while. She’s much funnier and more engaging than some of my adult friends who describe their dinner from the night before to me.
“And then I had chicken. And I dipped it in ketchup. And I had mac and cheese. The kind from the box. What brand was it? Kraft? No. Velveeta? No. Store brand? Maybe. It tasted like cardboard.”
Snore.
I’ll take a discussion of Dolly’s® parentage any day.
Discuss
I loaded everything in the car. Her bag, her cough medicine in case her cough comes back, a change of clothes, an extra pair of shoes, a cell phone should she wander off and get lost, a satellite transponder for easy location should she get lost in Grandma’s basement (trust me), pictures of Mommy and Daddy, lest she forget us, a cup filled with juice, her teddy grahams and my coffee.
Before she could get into her car seat, we had to buckle Dolly® (as a smart child, she subscribes to the literal naming policies set forth in her branch of philosophy) into the seat next to her. After all, should there be a car wreck, Dolly® would fly all over the place and possibly cause great bodily damage to one and all, and therefore she must be contained. Then, after running through a checklist and series of adjustments to her five-point safety harness that would put NASA to shame, we were ready to hit the road.
She was quiet for the first few minutes. Then the flood gates opened. This is an actual conversation:
Gertrude: Dolly® is my friend.
Me: That’s good!
Gertrude: She likes cake.
Me: What kind?
Gertrude: Chocolate. Or vabmilla. (I assume she meant vanilla and not some sort of medicine for treating yeast infections.)
Me: Wow. What do you guys do together?
Gertrude: Play games. And tag. I like to hide her.
Me: Okay. With her permission, I assume.
Gertrude: Of course! (Don’t know where she learned this.)
Me: So, who is Dolly’s® mommy?
Gertrude: Um. Dolly®’s mommy?
Me: Yes. Dolly’s® mommy. (Clearly I’ve touched on a sore subject here. I hope that Dolly® doesn’t have some deep dark secret in her past . . .)
Gertrude: Um. I can’t dermember the word.
Me: (Trying not to laugh)You can’t remember the word?
Gertrude: No! Oh wait! I dermember! Cinderella.
Me: Cinderella is Dolly’s® mommy?
Gertrude: Sure. I did it all by myself! I can do it!
Me: Do what?
Gertrude: Dermember the word! I do it all by myself!
Me: Yay!
Gertrude: Yay!
Then we were at Grandma’s. She became all clingy and sad as soon as we arrived. A nutrigrain bar and a glass of apple juice seemed to change her mind.
“Bye,” she said, “drive careful!”
You know, it’s funny. She’s only two years old and she gave me one of the best conversations I’ve had in a while. She’s much funnier and more engaging than some of my adult friends who describe their dinner from the night before to me.
“And then I had chicken. And I dipped it in ketchup. And I had mac and cheese. The kind from the box. What brand was it? Kraft? No. Velveeta? No. Store brand? Maybe. It tasted like cardboard.”
Snore.
I’ll take a discussion of Dolly’s® parentage any day.
Discuss
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