Ben

Some of you (cough, Angie) know that there is a song on every Ben Folds album that just gets you. For whatever reason.

On Rockin' the Suburbs it was "The Luckiest". For obvious reasons. I listen to it, I weep. Finnegan weeps. The sky weeps. It's how I feel, but didn't know it. Until the day I die, that song will choke me up.

Well, yesterday I'm listening to this song from Ben's latest "Songs for Silverman".

I teared up. Couldn't help it.

Gert's middle name, for the record, is Grace. At home we call her "Miss Grace". Now, in my head, she's "Gracie Girl".

You Know . . .

Before you label someone, before you condemn them as something, consider this:

Maybe he/she just doesn't like you.

I don't know. But consider this, no matter who you are:

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." --The Dalai Lama

Open The Podcast Doors Hal

So, now that I own one of those iPod thingys, I assume now it's time to program my time while I drive by picking up a few podcasts and moving them off my computer. I listen to a few, but always sporadically while I work. When I drive, I could actually listen. So, dear readers, I open this up to you. What do you suggest?

Here's what I have so far:

Dawn and Drew - David can't say enough about these guys, and for some sick reason I trust his judgment.

Leo Laporte has three.

And the one that could be most dangerous for any of my friends who receive CDs from me, or my wife who lives with me and must witness my CD buying orgies, Coverville.

So what else is out there? What to you guys like?

Oh, and for the sibling who is about to email me and ask me what the hell a podcast is, read this. And before you ask what a wiki is, go here.

My Life Now Has Meaning

This is the greatest thing I've ever seen (via Boing Boing).

Quote:

A new kit announced by Estes! Prototype rocket was shown at 2005 Las Vegas NRHSA Hobby Show, and should be released in late September of this year. The design is a payload rocket powered by an B/C engine. The unique payload section can be sealed to make an flying aquarium for the included payload of sea monkeys. This is an all new kit. Correct pricing with more up-to-date and complete info will be posted when available. This info and availability is subject to change.

And for $14.99! Wow. Space monkeys.

A Choke of Grief Hard Hardened

We must put aside or growing fear of Tom Cruise to mourn the loss of a dear family friend this morning.

While doing our normal rounds this morning it was discovered that Den Fish (named for where he lived) had shuffled off this mortal coil and was fins up in the bottom of this bowl. Gertrude, distraught, came tearfully to me and explained what had happened.

"Den Fish is DEAD," she cried. "I miss den fish."

We gathered Den Fish up and had a quick ceremony out in the back yard under the tree, which is becoming our tiny pet cemetery. Gert gathered rocks and marked the grave of Den Fish. We talked about how Den Fish was a good fish, despite the fact that he seemed to truly hate everyone in the family. He was a Betta and would flare up as soon as he saw anyone. Matilda also has a Betta, who has a much brighter disposition.

Gertrude asked us many existential questions about death. But few answers satisfied her desire to see Den Fish again.

"But I miss him," she said.

"I know honey, but you remember him. And as long as you do, he'll be with you."

"He's gone," she said. "He was upside down."

"But that was just his body. Fishies give up their bodies and new fishies come in the world. It's a cycle."

"Like the rain," she asked. "Puddles fly up in the sky and make clouds?"

"Uh, something like that." She asked me how clouds were made a few days ago. I didn't know I was going to be quizzed on the water cycle's metaphoric meaning a few days later. "The important thing is that you loved him as best you could. That's all any one being can ask of another."

"I did love him."

"That's my girl," I said. "Now go get your things ready for MeeMee's house."

"Okay. Tomorrow I'm going to pick out a blue fish instead of Den Fish."

And so, the mourning ends. For it was a small fish and now we must move on. To other fishes. Maybe Den Fish's successor will actually like us.

Tom Cruise Security Alert System

In the interest of national, no, universal security, I've decided that we must institute the Tom Cruise Alert System to protect the general public from exposure and injury due to the floating gravitational field that appears to circulate around him, thus making him the center of his own universe.

It is crude and it is not pretty, but it is meant to save lives and, most importantly, educate people about the dangerous race of Pod People that are commanded by The One True Cruise.

Use this chart wisely and be sure to listen to your local media outlet. Because of the impending release of War of the Worlds, the Tom Cruise Alert System is currently set at High.

Good luck my friends. Be safe. And for the sake of all that is pure and good in this world, please turn off your TV, lest you be hypnotized and taken by The One True Cruise.

Listen Up Bitches

Tom Cruise knows things. No. He knows things. And what he knows could blow our minds because of his intense knowledge of the Thetan levels.

And Angie called him out. She will soon have to go into hiding. Look at what he did to Brooke Sheilds. Because when The One True Cruise unleashes his god-like powers attained from using this, which is either a penis pump or a recharger, we shall all kneel down and praise Cocktail.

No one scares Tom. No one. Not even Uncle Fritz, who no doubt has been relocated to another Thetan level or beaten to death with a copy of Dianetics.

Behold what the One True Cruise will do in his Wrath: