It Wasn't The Dog

Last night Gert's homework was to make a pattern necklace out of food. You know, pasta, Cheerios, Froot Loops, etc. She made a nice little piece of jewelry.

This morning she was wearing her necklace while getting ready for the bus. I looked over had her and she was chewing off a Froot Loop.

"What are you doing?"

"I didn't like how the pattern worked, so I took one Froot Loop off. Then it wasn't a pattern! I had to eat it!"

"You're eating your homework!"

Explain that to your teacher. But, really, it's her fault. You cannot put a sugary food in front of my daughter and expect it to survive. She's like a sugar consumption machine.

Andy's Last Day

Sometimes enough is enough. Even if it hits you right in the middle of the song.

How Did I Not Know?

For my wife's birthday I finally discovered Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings. How have I never heard them before? Holy crap this makes me want to grab a beer and sit at a table and watch them play all damn night long.



Live, 2005


Rehearsing a James Brown Medley for the Apollo:


Damn.

You Can't Unring a Bell

Can't Talk Now

Playing Floyd Landis: The Home Edition.

No, it's not what you think.

Dreamer in my Dreams

Hard to believe, but six years ago today this happened. In fact, right about now I was eating a World War II surplus bagel and watching my wife's contractions on a monitor. Leave it to us to actually enjoy the entire labor process. We stayed up all night talking and then, without the help of a single chemical, Gert was born.

And now she's six. She woke up today in a ball of excitment, excited about her birthday and her bowling party on Saturday. I gave her a little bag of plastic princess jewels to hold her present lust for the day. She was thrilled with it, the little goober.

It's just amazing that just yesterday (or so it seems) she was this little lump and now she's this goofball.

Edited to add: I noticed this in the birth story and I am simply amazed at how much she's knocked off this list in her first six years.

She has yet to walk or talk or discover the beauty of music, she has never seen snow or felt rain fall on her, she doesn’t know what it is to run barefoot across hot pavement to the swimming pool on a hot summer day. She has never tasted pizza or listened to Dr. Seuss. Nor has she ever seen a Picasso, Van Gough or Rodin. She doesn't know the Beatles, Beach Boys, Pink Floyd, Randy Newman, Elvis Costello, Beethoven, Bach. She has no concept of yellow, blue. She doesn’t understand the sweetness of a new love or the pain of a lost love. She’s never cut herself and seen her own blood, the fluid that supports her life. She has yet to see a movie or read a book. She's never been to Disney World. There is so much that she doesn’t know, that I can’t wait for her to experience.

Anyway, happy sixth birthday to my baby girl. I can't put into words the joy and pride I feel.

And now I have six more months to prepare for her sister turning 13. My stomach hurts . . .

The World According to Gert, Pt. II

While playing with her electronic barking puppy her grandma bought her for her birthday, and asked to stop blocking the fridge in the process:

"Hang on, I'm calibrating him."

The World According to Gert

Wisdom from an almost six-year-old.

On Matilda's belief that she has some sort of freedom at the age of twelve:

"Sorry, you're too young to be let off the leash."

Being a Kid

It was so much better in 1980. However, the good part ended at 5 p.m. Man I hated Jim McNeil. Pasty bastard.

It's All Progress To Me

Remember this?



Well, I thought a gorilla playing drums was the epitome of awesomeness. I was wrong. Check this out.

Warning: Do not click on that link if you don't like to see bouncing. Lots of feminine bouncing. Glorious feminine bouncing. I also think there's music in it. I'm not sure because there was bouncing. And jiggling. Not much talent, really, just bouncy fun.

This One's for Finnegan

Who helped me dismantle a tree this weekend. Once I had to get out the saw and hatchet, Finn was out there attacking and dragging the larger branches around, trying to help me subdue them. He kept one as a trophy.

I know that, without him herding he branches for me, I wouldn't have been able to get them chopped up and into a yard waste container.

Adult Language

Sometimes when you have kids, you have to suppress laughter. Because, sometimes, they say something that, out of context, is wildly inappropriate and wrong. Gert did that yesterday morning and Mom and I didn't handle it well.

She was sitting on the couch with Mom reading a library book. "Dad, come here! Gert wants to show you how she can read this."

So Gert starts with the cover, pointing to each word with the stick end of a plastic sucker that's part of a set of hair sticks used for buns. I have no idea what they are called.

"What the No-good Baby is Good For, by Elise Broach and illustrated by Abby Carter."

She turns to me with a big smile, shoves the fake sucker in my face and proclaims, "Suck on it!"

Let me now describe to you how much hot coffee hurts as it comes spurting out your nose as you try not to laugh out loud.

We tried to stifle the laughter. We tried. We really, really did.

Hopefully Gert doesn't know what was so funny. However, we handled the issue with the inappropriate language very poorly, because we were laughing so hard that it's possible Gert may never read again.

But I defy you not to laugh when your five year old insults you like she's Easy E.

Ninja Parade

Damn it. I missed it again!


Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

There's a Light? What Light?

I have so much work to do it's disgusting. I've been in my office since around 7 a.m. and, unless I go for a ride today, I'll be here until dinner time. Roughly 11 hours. Oh, but it has to be billable time. So I don't get paid for company work (straigtening out people's pay checks, doing company taxes, processing time sheets, running financial reports, fixing other people's computers) or if there's any other issues (running to Office Depot because I run out of paper or toner, breaking printers, computer problems, etc.). It's nuts.

So am I working? No, I get sucked into watching Wilco videos on YouTube. Now I'm listening to my whole Wilco directory, including all the Tweedy and Wilco live shows and boots (I love me some demos). All in all we're talking about nearly 1500 tracks. Seriously. I have a sickness.

So here are my favorites on YouTube.

The opening credits of I Am Trying to Break Your Heart, the Wilco documentary. I really enjoyed this movie and I absolutely love this version of the song.


Jeff getting recognized in New York and being totally flabbergasted by the experience.


One of my favorite moments in the movie, a rehearsal for "Pieholden Suite." Watch to the end. The kids dancing is the best part.


Also from the movie. A good performance of "Monday":


A band rehersal of "How To Fight loneliness" from the film:


The last from the movie, the band rehearsing "I'm Always in Love" before hitting the road:


I love the movie clips because they have such a great feel to the performances. I miss Leroy in the band.

From the new album, "What Light." This is Gert's favorite song on the album.


My favorite song on the album, though "Hate it Here" could be a runner up, "Impossible Germany."


Oh hell, a fan shot video of "Hate it Here" including funny stage banter and a false start, for which Tweedy chides himself.