Written While I Was Away Pt. 2

I have no internet access at this point, but I’m writing anyway. It has nowhere to go, it’s going to sit here on my hard drive, but it will still exist. My thoughts will be forever cemented onto a piece of my hard drive. There will be a permanent digital record of what was going on in my life, should I be hit by a meteor before my DSL finally gets activated.

So, we are now officially in the new house. I have wood paneling. Do you have wood paneling? I have a LOT of wood paneling. All over my basement. With deep red carpeting.

Matilda says that she likes the red carpeting. “That way,” she says, “the blood won’t show up.”

I’m worried about her.

We hired some moving monkeys to come in and take all of our stuff and place it in our new stuff holder, also known as our house.

We spent hours and hours and hours writing destinations on the boxes. Simple explanations like “Bedroom” or “Master Bath” or even easier to understand, “Kitchen.”

Well . . . everything we own is piled in the back of the garage. The moving monkeys, even after having it explained to them that the destination for these boxes was WRITTEN ON THE BOX seemed to think that the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom are all in our garage.

Luckily I had told them that I would move all audio/video equipment, all computer equipment and anything that we could either eat, or otherwise apply to our bodies. Which was probably a good idea. Can you imagine having moving monkey sweat dripped into your crackers? Ew.

So I have an office and everything. It’s neat. It’s bare. It’s kind of depressing.

I admit to enjoying the fact that I have my own space to spread out and thoroughly enjoy working again. I don’t have my files and work spread out throughout the entire house anymore. Instead, it’s all in one room.

In the basement.

With no natural light.

By the end of one year working here I’ll be translucent like one of those cave fish. My eyes will grow giant and black. My skin will be as thin as paper and my voice will change.

Gollum!

I do enjoy having the office. But I fear that I will get terribly lonely sitting here alone in the basement all day. It will be like my days working at eCrapplace when I sat in my cushy office all alone and no one ever talked to me. Well, they did, but only to make fun of the fact that I liked Disney World. They’d ask me how Mickey was today.

Ha ha. So very funny. Woo! I can’t believe how funny that is.

Side note: Make my local radio station stop playing Elton John. I hate Elton John. With a passion. Really. I hate the following songs:

Rocket Man
Tiny Dancer
Your Song
Daniel
Levon
Crocodile Rock (though it is fun to sing the la la la part)
Bennie and the Jets
And all other songs ever recorded by Elton John with the exception of Funeral for a Friend.

I also hate Bernie Taupin.

I like Burt Bacharach and Hal David though. They are cool. And old.

I’ve totally lost focus here.

That’s okay. I have to finish setting up my office. Then I have to get some work done. Then I have to mow the lawn before it rains today. First I have to put the lawnmower together. That’ll be interesting, to say the least. Yoinks!