Lack of Updates

Sorry for the lack of updates lately. Lots o'stuff going on. And lack of stuff to say. Combine both, mix and the result is a giant blank space. Like this:







See? It's very blank. And blank is what is considered an absence of something. I have plenty of blanks this week but no something. I think I'm tired. And I'm not feeling funny. And my neighbor is coveting my trash cans.

I also realize that I haven't been making monkey jokes lately. Again, I apologize. A serious lack of monkey jokes tends to make certain people disagreeable. I don't want to do that and I realize that I am shirking a very important civic duty. I'll try to rectify that in the future.

In fact, I'll try to do many things in the future. Including making a glue that acts like velcro. And a reverse microwave that freezes things instantly. I'll also be conducting experiments with a food saver and a gerbil. But I have to get around PETA first. They've been mad at me ever since that shaved monkey stunt.

See? A monkey joke. All is well.

There are many stories I haven't told you. Did you know the girls recently did my nails, hair and marched me around the house with a tiara on? They thought it was quite funny. I thought I looked rather cute. It reminded me of the time I was at a friends house (two girls) and they decided to paint my nails while we watched the X-Files. It was very relaxing. Though, admittedly, very strange when I went to the nearest gas station to pick up some beer. They lived in a very rough neighborhood and the man behind the counter seemed to have a problem with my manicure. Which was fine, because his establishment only sold really bad beer. When I started quoting David Sedaris, he seemed to get more confused.

Okay. Now I'm babbling. Time for a nap.