Because I have a Fever, Man

Poor Gert is sick again. This is the third (and fourth) illness in the past three weeks.

It started three weeks ago with a horrible, rattling cough that kept her awake all night. Followed the next week by a dual ear infection (only her second in her short life, so that's surprisingly good). Less than a week later? Pink Eye.

Then, on Friday night, she came into our room complaining of being itchy. Four hours later she's laying in a warm bath with red splotches all over, begging us to make the itching stop. The doctor said it was an allergic reaction to the antibiotics for her ear. And yes, after a week of taking the medication, it's not unusual.

Saturday night the rash was clearing up, but the high fever started. Yesterday she was a wilted mass of goo in our arms. She lay on my lap for three hours, just a little limp furnace. She was so hot, I was sweating.

"Hey kid," I said, "you're making me hot."

"That's because I have a fever, man."

"Man" is her latest catch phrase. She's goofy even when she has an entire medical dictionary of symptoms.

Now the cough is back. And the rash is making a comeback. Along with a runny nose that is producing glorious amounts of toxic green snot. When we talked to the doctor I half expected him to give us, the parents, a diagnosis of Munchausen's by Proxy.

Oh. I forgot to mention the hallucinations due to the fever. She just told me a few minutes ago that Mom's pillow was talking, but that she didn't want tell it to stop. She didn't say why. Right now she's greeting the toilet before she goes potty.

And . . . looks like we'll be going back to the doctor today. I wonder if our insurance has a frequent flyer's program, man.