Weird Convergence

Bikes and Tom Waits. Who knew it could ever happen?

Following the coverage of Interbike I've noticed a few smaller companies whose bikes I happen to like (not that I'm planning on buying a new bike . . . just lusting). Granted, I like their looks. How I'd like 'em if I sat on 'em is a different story.

If I had a dollar for every time I've said that.

Under the Influence

My wife was recently talking about whether or not we live out our own paranoia and fears through our children. She ultimately allowed Gertrude to conquer her own fears without intervening. It was a big step for Mom, one giant leap for Gertrude kind.

But my problem goes further. While Gert and I share a number of fears, I’m starting to think that, perhaps, my daughter is becoming me. Literally. It’s as if my mother had me cloned as revenge for 1978 through 1993.

It’s not my fault. Gert and I both have abandonment issues. I can trace mine to a specific event. I think, though I have no statistical evidence, that a parent’s death when you are five-years-old might make you a little paranoid about being alone. It’s a problem I’ve dealt with for years, the constant fear that somehow I will end up alone in the world. A shrink would have a field day with that paranoia. But let’s not get into that.

Gert has many fears, and she’s quite open with them. Currently she is afraid of:

Storms
Fire
Tornados
Boats

She has recently worked through fears of:

Her closet
Bugs
Spiders
Political bloggers

In fact, she was so proud of one of her recent accomplishments that she bragged to me about it.

“You know dad, I’m not afraid of the dark anymore. I used to be scared and would lay in bed stiff as a board. I was so scared I couldn’t even call you. But, I’m not afraid of the dark because I realized that the room is the same, just without enough light.”

“That’s great Gert,” I said sipping my coffee. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Yeah, now I’m just afraid that everyone I love will disappear and I’ll be all alone. That’s why I always call you if you’re in a different room.”

Sigh. I’ve somehow caused my daughter to have horrible, horrible fears. Why? I’ve tried to encourage her to be a strong, independent little girl. And, for the most part, she is. She’s one of the smartest, most well-spoken kids I’ve ever met. And yet, she’s terrified that I’ll disappear.

I’m sure this is all normal. But I’m afraid I’ve saddled this poor girl with all my baggage by simply donating half of her DNA. Is it genetically imprinted?

So, she and I went for a bike ride to wipe out our fears. We rode hard, we rode on hills, and we had a good time.

“That was a great ride Gert. You’re getting really good on a bike. Most kids your age can’t even ride a two-wheeler, much less hammer up a hill like Miguel Indurain. “

“Yeah,” she said, “it’s because I train a lot. I train even more than you. I don’t take days off. I ride every day.”

Yes, she said “train”. She doesn’t ride her bike, she trains.

What have I done?

Ah Frazz . . .

It's an experiment that's been tried in my house. Results were much as expected.

Get it While It's Hot

This will be gone later this week. You like that song on NBC's Heroes last night?

It's Rogue Wave's "Eyes".

Fantastic track. It's on iTunes and a crappy soundtrack, but it'll only cost you a buck on iTunes. Tasty.

The UCI Is Toying With Me

Apparently, this is real. Apparently, the plan would be to start in Kansas City and end at the Arch.

I say "apparently" because there seems to be no official information other than:

1. It's on the UCI calendar.
2. It has the governor's support.
3. If it comes to pass I'm so taking that week off and following it.

Seriously, real North American pro teams. Toyota-United? I hope. Jelly Belly? Most likely. Health Net? I'd bet. J.J. Haedo? Nope, he signed with CSC. I knew he'd go to Europe. He was too good for continental racing.

To quote something that Harry Potter fans apparently say, "Squee!"

Being A Parent vs. Being A Dog Owner

Situation: A peanut, or other small food object drops on the floor.

As a parent:
OH MY GAWD! Pick it up! Pick it up! Pick it up! The baby will choke! SHE HAS A VERY SMALL ESOPHAGUS! SHE COULD CHOKE! Wheeze! Pant! Huff!

As a dog owner:
Don't worry, the dog will get it as soon as he's done with that turkey leg I dropped earlier.

Husky Rescue

This is my wife's new favorite band. She just doesn't know it yet.

Summertime Cowboy


New Light of Tomorrow


And here's a live video that showcases how cute the little milkmaid singer, Reeta-Leena Korhola, can be. Somehow I probably offended every person from Helsinki. So be it. She's cute and she looks like Swiss Miss. What the hell do you want me to do? I have to make generalizations! That's how everybody makes decisions.

Hear Some New Tom Waits

Well, "new" in the sense that it wasn't released before. Not so "new" in that he didn't exactly write and record it yesterday. But still . . .

Anti Records (home of Neko and Joe Henry too!) has posted the first MP3 taste in the form of "Bottom of the World". Go here to read and download.

I've Been Hit!

I got beaned. Since it's a last request (now you see her, now you don't), of sorts, I'll fill it out and maybe, but probably not, be honest.

Why do you blog?
It started out as a way to keep myself sane while I was working at a horrible, horrible job that offered me no sense of the outside world and sucked all happiness from my soul. Now I think I do it out of habit or for self-amusement. I haven't been really trying that hard lately, have I? In fact, for the most part I see blogging changing away from personal blogs to more topical sites. Thank God. I've been getting tired of vanity blogs. Especially mine.

Oh, and also, blogging makes it so I don't have to communicate with anyone directly. Want to know what's going on? Just read the damn thing and you'll get the basics from training bras to dogs with bike horns.

How long have you been blogging?
Five years in August.

Self-portrait:

Though I need to give myself a haircut.

Why do readers read your blog?
I have no idea. Maybe because of my rapier wit? Because my kids are weird and there are usually strange and funny stories about them? It can't be because of the "style" given that it's turned into a Daddy/Cycling/Music blog. I don't really have a subject anymore.

What was the last search phrase someone used to get to your site?
"Last Night I Had a Horrible Dream", but the most common is "leeches".

Your current favorite blog:
Boing Boing. It's the best, prototypical blog on the net.

What blog did you read most recently?
Er, Boing Boing.

What feeds do you subscribe to?
A bunch of cycling feeds. Sadly, a good number of the stories that come across are about cyclists killed by cars. Been considering starting a new blog about cycling safety and advocacy.

Who will I tag with this meme?
My wife. If I actually had any friends, I'd tag them. However, apparently, if you call people "dirty bastards" enough, they'll stop responding to your messages. I suppose I should work harder to be a kind and gentle human being. Ah, well. Those dirty bastards can suck it.

Just Returned From Our Anniversary Trip

Married 7 years and counting,
originally uploaded by scifitwin.

And it was fun! There was cycling, sun, cool cottages, rain, thunderstorms! And yes, there are pictures.

Look For Me And I'll Be Gone

Gone riding. Taking my trusty steed. And my mild-mannered sidekick. And lots of extra tubes. Expecting flats.

Be back Sunday. Don't expect any calls.

I Found a Reason

It's early, but I wanted to do this before we left on our trip tomorrow.

On Monday, officially, my wife and I will have been married for seven years. And you said it wouldn't last! In those seven years my love for this goofy woman has not waned a bit. In fact it has grown measurably. I'm happier today than I was the day we were married and I grow happier every day.

Here's to the next century together (I figure by the time we're old we'll be able to replace whole organs with ones we grow in our closets).

So, today, I shall give you my tribute to my wife. In music and video. And you're going to like it! Damn it. It's a down tempo tribute. But the words are all true. Feel free to discuss the videos. I mean, cute little dying bunnies and people weeping and showing themselves to be vulnerable. What am I saying about love? Aren't you remotely curious? How, you ask, can a dying and weeping and discussions of whether or not there is a higher power possibly make your wife feel good about herself?

My answer is this: When you are in love, these are the things you talk about late at night. You tell her she's not allowed to die. That when you're 95 and in a nursing home together, you'll still be holding her hand. And if, at some point, your souls part ways into the ether, that she shouldn't worry because you will come shortly after her. Because, sometimes, there is another human without whom you realize there can be nothing if she no longer was there. Literally, "God only knows what I'd be without you." So, yeah, I know how that bunny feels.

And, Nick Cave? The key words there are "I know that you do". The people crying? Vulnerability is part of love.

1. Cat Power - I Found a Reason

2. Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark


3. Nick Cave - Into My Arms


4. Because It's Funny

That's How To Win a Bicycle Race

Poor racers. Hey, I have a question, how come even cycling in Japan looks like it's created by a Sony game designer? At first I thought this was a Skittles race.

Zero 7 - Somersault

Damn. I knew this was a good song, but have never heard it performed live. And Sia really blasts it out. Damn.



Here's more Sia

Your Daily Tom Waits

Yep. Totally addicted lately. Sorry. Plus I keep playing with YouTube. It's fun. Videos of two of my favorite Waits tunes. One mentions St. Louis, too.

Tom Traubert's Blues


Hold On

It Can't Be, The First One's in My Pants

I'm on a Tom Waits kick this week. Pretty much all I've been listening to. "Dead and Lovely" is currently my favorite songs. Unless you count "Pasties and a G-String". Which I would, but not in public.



What's funnier than that clip (and that's pretty damn funny) is when a four-year-old says, "Is Tom Waits going to put a fish in his pants?"

Hopefully her teachers will find it that funny tomorrow. That's not something I want to explain to a sweet pre-school teacher.

This Is Incredible

Wait for the song to start. Well worth it. This song will be on Tom's new rarity collection coming out in November. Looking forward to it. Very much. Especially if this song ("Lord I've Been Changed" is the official title) is half as good as this.

A Bummer in the Summer

Mom's been out of town for a work retreat. She went unwillingly, but sounded like she was having a good time when she called. Ironically, she's only about 30 minutes from home. Practically in her parents backyard, actually.

Anyway, Gert suddenly realized this morning that she misses Mommy terribly. It hurts, almost, how much she misses Mommy. She's not crying or anything. Just filled with existential angst.

She wanted to call Mommy at 6:30 this morning. I told her it was a little early, but that we would be picking Mommy (and her bike) up from work after I pick her (Gert) up from school this afternoon.

"But that's sooooooo looooooong," she said.

"Tell you what. Get dressed, eat breakfast, brush your teeth and we can watch your favorite TV show and make a card for Mom telling her how much you missed her and how much you love her." This got her moving, albeit slowly. Finally, an hour later, she was ready to make a card.

She tore out two pieces of paper from a small notebook and laid them verso and recto (hey, I'm in publishing), and taped the gutter down. Then she drew two self-portraits. She signed each with her name (her real one, which you might be able to decipher if you're smart) and asked if we could put it in the mail.

"Well, she's coming home today, so she won't get it by mail." It was decided that putting it under her pillow was the best idea.

When Mom gets home and sees this photo, she's screwed. Gert explained it showed how sad she was and that she drew in real tears.

Good luck Mom, because when you see this your entire life is over. You may never leave home again without your sweet little Gert.

A Fading Summer

As I mentioned last week, I'm celebrating my one year anniversary of riding my bike seriously. Eventually I'll post why this is important to me. And it involves wearing shorts that are nicely slicked up with lotion. Trust me, it's a good thing. I think. Maybe that's why the neighbors won't let the neighborhood kids near our house anymore.

Anyway, today I offer you a post in which I thumb my nose at the RIAA and give you a mix. In my defense, I'd make you a mix on CD, but let's face it, we don't know each other that well.

So, here is my homage to cycling, the end of a great season (summer, in this case) and the sadness I feel that the time I have to spend on the bike is dwindling until next spring.

Oh sure, I have the trainer and some cold-weather riding, but it just isn't the same as a sunny, warm morning that you plan on riding 20 miles and end up riding 50 just because the air smells so clean, the hills don't seem that steep, the wind is gentle, the animals are lively, the cars are friendly and your legs just feel damn good.


1. Queen - Bicycle Race


2. George Harrison - Any Road


3. Cowboy Junkies - Miles from Our Home


4. Tomorrow - The White Bicycle


5. Jazz Butcher Conspiracy - Bicycle Kid


6. Tom Waits - Top Of The Hill


7. Clem Snide - Moment In The Sun


8. The Now Time Delegation - Keep On Pushin'


9. Dinosaur Jr. - Feel The Pain


10. David Byrne - Road to Nowhere (Live at Union Chapel)


11. The Ditty Bops - Walk Or Ride


12. Beulah - Burned By the Sun


13. Jennifer O'Connor - Hole In The Road


14. Neil Young - See The Sky About To Rain


15. Beulah - What Will You Do When Your Suntan Fades?


16. Wayne Hancock - Man Of The Road


17. The Clientele - Bicycles


18. Tom Waits - Broken Bicycles

Giro della Montagna

So, we went to the bike races on Sunday to watch the day's final crit in the Gateway Cup's Giro della Montagna on the Hill. Overall, it was a fantastic event. Disappointment? We were in the city's Italian district and most of the restaurants were closed and the event ran out of food. Sad, really. But we saw some really great racing and Gert got a souvenir in the form of the broken mouthpiece of a water bottle. Mom yelled at us for keeping it. I would have taken the full water bottles that we found, but some woman was watching us and we felt oddly weird about taking things laying in the street. Conscience is a strange thing.

My wife suddenly thinks I should race in the Citizen/Cat 5 races (we saw the Pro 1, 2, which was quite a bit faster). I keep telling her that I'd need to buy a new bike, considerably more expensive than what I ride, and that I don't think I'd be very good at it. But she's unconvinced. Granted, on a lighter bike I could probably increase my speed a bit, but . . . I lack confidence. Maybe if I had someone who races currently to ride with and yell at me periodically, but I'm too lazy to seek that out and too random in my training to accomplish anything.

The girls had a great time, from the moment they felt the blast of air as the pack zoomed by at the start to the finish. Naturally I forgot my camera, so you'll have to live with the crappy phone cam pics. Most surprising to me was Matilda, who really got into it and even started screaming in the end:



Gert's interest ebbed and flowed, but she was particularly interested in the nasty crash that took place about forty feet from us. She was excited to see the only rider who had to drop out of the race getting his leg iced. Go figure.



I do have some video from my phone cam. It's in 3gp, which may or may not play for you. It should open in QuickTime. Or maybe not. It's tiny, but give it a try.

The Start
Final Laps

If the video does open, notice Matilda on the second one. She's getting excited for number 66, whose name I never caught. He was consistently in the back of the pack, so she keyed him as a favorite. Go figure.

Anyway, the whole family is hooked. We'll probably attend even more in the future. You should too! It really was exciting, even if you don't wear lycra yourself.

I'll be Here Today

Gone fishing.

Actually, gone to eat food and watch people careen around corners. This should be an exciting fast event, so even though the kids say they won't be excited, they will when we get there. Gert claims that, while no bloodlust is involved, she wants proof that she's not the only person on a bike that ends up with skinned knees. I assured her that it's a common biking injury.

We're actually going to miss most of the early events, Cats 1 - 5, women's and even the kids' race. We might arrive for the end of the kids' race, which will give the girls a chance to see what it is and actually participate next year. Nerves, you know. We're going here first. So we will be a little late.

But the races are in the heart of our storied Italian neighborhood. I'll be stuffed with ravioli and prosciutto when I get home.

This Makes Me Happy and Giggle Like A Child on Crack

Not really on crack because that would be wrong. Kids shouldn't buy crack, no matter what Whitney Houston says.