Get Better

From the new Mates of State album, due out May 20. I think this very well may be the best song they've ever done. I really love it. And if you watch closely at the end, you can see Kori and Jason's daughter lifting a flower up to the sky. It's a family affair for them. It should be noted that Kori was also about 8 months pregnant when they filmed this.

I absolutely love this song. I've watched this video ten times just to hear it. Absolutely fantastic.

If Microsoft Ran IKEA

New thoughts on an old idea.

1. All IKEA furniture must be bundled with more IKEA products that you won't need. For example, if you buy an IKEA bed, you also must buy IKEA plates. Otherwise, the bed won't work.

2. All IKEA furniture will come with proprietary screws that will require you to hire professionals to insert and turn them, as the proprietary screws will require proprietary screw drivers. Fear not, because after spending $1000 you can be certified to use the screw driver.

3. All IKEA furniture will only work with other IKEA furniture, or otherwise approved furniture developed for IKEA. Therefore, if you want to put your feet up when you sit in your IKEA chair, you must buy an IKEA ottoman. Or an IKEA compatible ottoman.

4. In order to use your IKEA furniture, you must use a unique activation code. Each piece of IKEA furniture will only be able to be used in one room. If you want to move your IKEA desk from one office to another you will have to buy a new user license.

5. Finally, all home builders will be required to optimize their floor plans for IKEA furniture. You can use other brands of furniture in your home, but you may not be able to see the coffee table you install, and that picture may not ever hang straight.

Of course, you have to make sure you update your IKEA drivers every time you use your IKEA furniture. And be sure to wait for your couch's Service Pack 1 before you install that coffee table. Because nothing is worse than sitting down for a cup of coffee and finding that your couch has seized up and won't restart without entering safe mode. Naturally you'd have to uninstall the pillows in order to get the couch back online and even then it still won't recognize the coffee table.

Open Source furniture will work with IKEA products, however, you may violate the GPL if you try to sell that furniture when your girlfriend breaks up with you and you want to get back at that bitch.

Awe.Some

This is the sole reason I started playing the uke. It's things like this that make it fun (via Boing Boing of course):


And, also, still the most underrated Beatles song. Ringo rocks on this one. Yes, Ringo.

Quck Tally

Taking stock for a moment.

After 6 years of working as a freelancer or as an employee of my own business.

Number of Books I've completed as a freelancers (listed as editor): 18

That doesn't include websites, supplements or camera ready books.

Books currently managing to pub later this year: 5

Books publishing any moment: 1

Large video projects overseeing: 1

Books to publish at later dates I've agreed to or am working on: 4

First editions, current and published: 6

Areas I've worked: Athletic Training. Health, Health Promotion, Health Education, Recreation, Facilities Management, Physical Education, Physical Education Curriculum, Life Skills, Fitness, Kinesiology, Drug Education, Drug Counseling, Wellness, Exercise Science, Student Success, Education research.

Huh. And you thought I was unemployed because I'm home all day and wear shorts, didn't you Neighbor Joe and wife Blandie? Huh.

Dreams Dashed

Gert, alas, did not make it into the Variety Show. I suppose passion does not always trump know-how. Maybe next year. Being Gert, she's totally zen about it. She understands, she's moving on.

In fact, now she's put all of her dreams into a contest where you create a fairy for the Disney Fairies series and can have it included in a book. But, more importantly, the grand prize is a trip for four to Disney World with an overnight stay in the castle.

That's the dream for her. Staying in the castle. And she spent the better part of a month preparing this fairy. Her name is Summer, her friends are Miley, Hannah and Lilly (hmmmm, wonder where those names came from) and she brings sunshine.

Huh. Sounds like she describe herself.

Backstage With the Modern Dancers

Backstage With the Modern Dancers from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Well. Sort of. Give me a Flip Video, some editing software, some effects and a song and this is how I interpret a bunch of kids auditioning for a talent show.

The song is by Great Lake Swimmers, which means I've officially become one of those guys who makes videos for songs and posts them on video sites.

Rock Star: The Performance

Rock Star: The Performance from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Organized, choreographed, produced, dictated, lead, and ruled with an iron fist by Gert. This whole thing was her idea, her plan and her valiant friends followed and participated.

They organized rehearsals, planned costumes, got props. Not sure if it's a dance, a cheer or performance art.

But, in general, six-year-old genius.

Rock Star

Heading out on birthday ride #2. Wanted to post this quickly. Shot it this morning on my brand new birthday toy (Flip Ultra). Cool. Taking it on my ride too.


Rock Star from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Happiness Is...

Laying with my daughter on her bed, sharing iPod earbuds while listening to and discussing music. Then listening to her sing every word of the song she likes to sing when she's angry (it's by Hannah Montana, of course).

Fade Out

Goodnight Ollie. Though you are gone, you will live forever.

America's Got Talent

Gert has decided that she wants to be in her school's variety show. She is currently behind me with her little MP3 player playing Hannah Montana's "You and Me Together", meekly singing and working out some choreography.

Gert can't sing, except with the earnestness of someone who deeply loves music.

Gert cannot dance, except with the passion of someone who is moved very deeply by the song.

It's totally "Little Miss Sunshine." Okay, maybe not that disturbing, but you know what I mean.

She may not get into the show, but to me it's the greatest thing I've ever seen.

You Win, Cycling. This Time

So I paid the money for a subscription to Cycling.tv for three months. Paris-Roubaix is too exciting not to watch on the same day. A week later? Feh. That's unpossible.

So, double-fisting coffee, I'll be up early tomorrow watching those poor bastards suffer.

It's going to be brutal. I'm looking forward to it. Yes.

Radio silence rescinded. I'm sure you were breathless waiting to hear that.

Radio Ga Ga

I'm going on cycling radio silence from right now until 4/21 (coincidentally my birthday). I do not want to know the results of tomorrow's Paris Roubaix until I can watch the race. That means no Velonews, Cycling News, Trust But Verify, Fredcast, Spokesmen, Quickrelease-TV, Stlbiking or even fellow cyclists' blogs. Which is a shame, because there are some good local races this weekend and I'll be ignoring those results too.

Sigh.

But I want to watch the race and not know what happens. And, who knows, maybe I'll get something done at work without all these time leaks.

Measured Expectations

So, it's spring and that means that the year-long masturbation in the cycling media is in full swing. Yes, it's that time that we get a weekly article about how George Hincapie is going to win X race because he's nearly won it in the past. Or because he's tall. Or because his wife is drool-worthy French podium girl. Or because he was with Lance on every Tour win. Or because he's an American boy and not living under a controversy cloud like the embattled Floyd Landis. Or because he makes clothing. Because he's a nice guy. And he's George! Yay!

The latest is Paris-Roubaix. Every year the (American) press tips him as a favorite to win. Just like they do in every damn race he enters. Every year George disappoints.

I'm going on the record to say that George will not with Paris-Roubaix. In fact, if he wins Paris-Roubaix I will eat my shoes. Here are your options as to why:

His bike will explode.
He will launch an amazingly fruitless attack at exactly the wrong time with all the wrong people.
As usual, he'll end up in the second group of riders and not the first.
He'll crash early.
He'll crash late.
He'll crash often.
He'll crash within 10 meters of the finish line.
He'll stupidly lead out the sprint to the line and get tanked by the guy holding his wheel.
One of his teammates will launch an attack and he'll just sit there.
Anyone will launch an attack and he'll just sit there.
Despite his dreams, he just isn't the type of rider who can win Paris-Roubaix.
The creepy varicose veins on his calf will explode.
He'll get hit by a piece of the International Space Station.

Look, I like George. He is an amazingly talented cyclist, a fantastic super-domestique and amazing in short stage races. George is not a great Classics rider. He's a decent classics rider. But, seriously, to win Paris-Roubaix you need more than a bunch of people in Colorado clapping their hands saying, "I do believe!"

Also, because of the stupidity of Versus you cannot tell me who wins the race. I am deleting all of my cycling bookmarks and going dark from April 12 - April 21. I refuse to watch the coverage a week later and already know the outcome. This race is too much fun to watch.

Unless, of course, it's so horribly chopped up that Versus manages to make it boring.

/end pessimism.

A Mux Upon You

New Muxtape is up.

Secretly I think it's my way of wishing it was summer. It's a little melancholy, but in a wistful sort of way. Also it really betrays my secret love of Zooey Deschanel. She's disturbingly cute and her singing voice doesn't change my opinion of her in the least. In fact it makes her cuter.

Crap. Now I have to let my wife either hit me or I'll have to watch two Johnny Depp movies.

They Could Be Made Of Water

Yeah. Bong water, apparently.

I'm a TWIT(ter)

Yeah, I joined twitter. Look to your right or go here. Essentially it's what you are doing or thinking in 160 characters or less.

I'll probably update it frequently with stupid jokes.

Because I'm stupid. And I like jokes. Match made in heaven.

Well...How Did I Get Here?

Not sure how I've arrived at this juncture in my life. Matilda goes to a very, very large middle school. One of two in the district. They are getting a new principal next year and are conducting interviews with the applicants this week that parents and students are encouraged to attend.

Matilda and my wife and I have been asked to be on the committee to help select the new principal. Matilda is one of three students in the school on the committee and we're one of nine parents. Well, only one of us is going to be on the committee, but it was left up to us to choose. I think my wife will be doing it. But this is clearly an honor.

Matilda I understand. She's a straight A student, is on just about every extracurricular club and committee there is. She's an honors student, in the gifted program, wins awards, plays in the orchestra, is part of their closed-circuit TV station and is in the gifted program.

My wife? Well, she gave birth to Matilda, so she obviously had a hand in her brilliance. Though I must say that they asked for Mr. O'Brien on the phone. So there.

Me? I didn't contribute any genes here, so I can't take genetic responsibility for her smarts. I've been in her life since she was two, so there is the nature versus nurture argument but...

I'm the guy who used to dress up her Ken doll in a doctor's coat, play "Pick Up The Pieces" by Average White Band and have him dance around and hit on all the Barbies, calling himself Dr. Supafly.

There must be a mistake...

Dig Yourself a Dichotomy

Just bought the new Nick Cave. It imagines Lazarus is brought back to life in modern day New York. Things do not go well for him, being as he's left to his own devices. Poor Larry. Well, I'll let Nick, ever the biblical scholar, explain it:

"Ever since I can remember hearing the Lazarus story, when I was a kid, you know, back in church, I was disturbed and worried by it. Traumatized, actually. We are all, of course, in awe of the greatest of Christ's miracles - raising a man from the dead - but I couldn't help but wonder how Lazarus felt about it. As a child it gave me the creeps, to be honest. I've taken Lazarus and stuck him in New York City, in order to give the song, a hip, contemporary feel. I was also thinking about Harry Houdini who spent a lot of his life trying to debunk the spiritualists who were cashing in on the bereaved. He believed there was nothing going on beyond the grave. He was the second greatest escapologist, Harry was, Lazarus, of course, being the greatest. I wanted to create a kind of vehicle, a medium, for Houdini to speak to us if he so desires, you know, from beyond the grave."

Nick usually sticks with the Gothic Old Testament material. Interesting. Video:



The dichotomy? Well, while I'm enjoying Nick's aggressive darkness, I'm really obsessed with The Great Lake Swimmers. What do they sound like? Kind of like laying on your back in a swimming pool on a day where the weather is perfect so that the air, the water and your body are all the same temperature so you can just float and stare at a clear blue sky and lose yourself in a deep meditative happiness.

Plus, they wrote the best love song that uses cartography to describe a woman's body:


This one makes me want to sit and drink a beer while looking out over a valley toward the morning mist lifting out of dense trees on a mountaintop. In fact, there's a woman at 1:37 who looks exactly how this band makes me feel. Which is awesome because since yesterday I've billed out half the hours I billed out in a five day period last week. And that five day period was a record week for me. Looks like I'll beat that this week. Me tired. Enjoy:



And this song makes me, well, want to be in the video. I wonder if my large family will meet me in a green field for a picnic? At about 1:50 you will start rooting for the drummer to hit the cymbal. You know he wants to. But he shows amazing restraint.

Because I'm Busy

And I've been working since 5:30 this morning (minus time for a really shitty bike ride thanks to Mr. Diabetes). And it made me smile. I don't get it and I get the sense Louis Prima would kill this guy, who may be the illegitimate child of Salvador Dali, but still . . .

Is One's Name Cornelius?

We're losing our grip, humans. Once one of these monkeys, hopefully not named Aldo, rises up and says "No" we're screwed.

Cat Power on Letterman

You know, after years of alcohol and mental issues I thought Chan Marshall was getting better. She's been more together on stage than ever. And, yet, in this fantastic performance she put in on Letterman, it appears as though she's regressing.

I do believe she's singing to invisible midgets.

Merlin Mann is a Genius

And you're not. Neither am I. But this is just a brilliant observation.

Blanket April Fools Comment To Most Websites

Oh. Ha ha. Very clever.

Thank you.