I read something last night that very well may change my life. No, I’m not going to proselytize to you about the merits of a specific religion, tell you about what Dr. Phil said nor will I spew out Deepak Chorpra crapra.

I’ve been reading books by the Nobel winning physicist Richard P. Feynman. Now, Feynman was an amazing guy. Brilliant scientist, talented actor, wonderful teacher, good musician, etc. He’s one of those guys who loved life so much that he would try anything. Anything at all. He was curious. That was his charm.

He spoke his mind and played with the world. Something I wish I could do.

Last night I was reading about an invitation he had received to work with Einstein and other great minds of the time. Feynman was flabbergasted to be invited. He simply didn’t think he was good enough. Then he had a realization:

“It was a brilliant idea: You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It's their mistake, not my failing.”

That’s when it hit me. This is true! So damn true! I’ve been sitting up nights with my heart jumping out of my chest and rampaging around the room because I’ve been worried about living up to the expectations that others had of me! Not based on my abilities, but what they believe I should be capable of accomplishing.

That’s not my responsibility. I work as hard as I possibly can and do everything I can to accomplish the tasks put before me. But the material I’m provided limits me. If something I write for a client doesn’t say exactly what they want it to there are two possibilities. One, I wrote poorly or two, I wasn’t given enough information.

More often than not, it’s the second option. A client knows in their head what they need, but they do not fully communicate that to me. Being as I am not part of their company and have limited exposure to the development of their product I am, in essence, stupid. I need to be told everything.

So, if I don’t include a particular benefit that I am unaware of, it can’t be helped. On Monday, I would have freaked out and had a heart attack worrying about the fact that I didn’t do it right. Now, I’m learning to accept my fate. I cannot do things that I simply am not capable of doing. Like read minds.

Now, this is not to say that I do not do my very best in the work that I am given. That is far from the truth. I give it all that I have. I’m quite often left exhausted by it.

What I am saying is, if my client expects me to be able to do something that is impossible I am not going to beat myself up for not being able to accomplish it. I will try to accomplish it, but if I can’t it’s okay. It was their expectation of me and I cannot control that. Even if I tell them upfront that I believe this will be impossible, they will still expect it from me.

And that’s okay! It really is. As long as both parties understand that I am not responsible for their expectations. I am what I am. I can accomplish what I can accomplish. I will continually try to better myself, and my performance. However, if I cannot live up to what another person believes I can achieve, I should not beat myself up. It is their expectation, not mine.

Sure, this seems blasé. But I have only one person who I should answer to regarding my accomplishments. And that person is me. If I cheat myself, then I’m screwed. But if Joe Blow believes I can do something that I can’t, it’s not my fault. I will do everything in my power to try and do so but if I do not accomplish it I have not failed. I have just simply proven that I cannot meet his perception of my abilities.

And that’s not my responsibility.

By the way, after Feynman had this realization, he began the work that led to his Nobel Prize. Which is my point. He knew that he would never be able to meet the expectations of Einstein and his crew. Instead he worked on his own material and accomplished something astounding.

Don’t fool yourself. Life is too short to live each moment based on what others expect of us. Live! Go out and play with the world. Who knows what you may discover about yourself.