One of the most important rules of writing deals with the ever-elusive, and oft-irritating exclamation point. From the first time I wrote my first sentence (which was, “Please stop Henry Winkler!”), teachers have told me that I should use the exclamation point sparingly. After all, how often am I so excited that I! Must! Yell! About! It!?

Not often. Recently, on someone else’s blog (who it was, I cannot remember, sorry whoever it was), I read that we’re all allowed three exclamation points in our life. To me, this is a good rule. After you use more than three you should be thrown in prison for three years and forced to listen to Barry Manilow.

(Right now someone is probably going through this blog counting the exclamation points. To that person I say, “Stop. They have medication for your disorder.”)

Why am I discussing this? Because a site that I once enjoyed has gone completely out of control. That site is Ain't It Cool News, run by the hirsute, self-obsessed Harry Knolwes. This site was once a great read with wonderful news and information about movies and television. Now, it’s a self-pleasuring of a man who is part of the pseudo-media.

My thoughts about Knowles and his writing style and self-adulation aside, the site still has some interesting tidbits. But only rarely. Were I to choose a movie news site I would have to vote for Dark Horizons . Garth Franklin gives me the news I need in a succinct and interesting manner. And, quite often, he does so with a flair that only an intelligent, movie-obsessed geek can bring to the table. Garth doesn’t do his site to make money or garner a fan base. Rather, he does so because if he didn’t, he’d be looking for this information himself.

So, why am I ragging on Harry and what does it have to do with exclamation points? Because Harry’s site currently contains no less than fifty-six exclamation points on various headlines. Fifty-six. Come on Harry. Let’s get serious here, can you not write a headline that doesn’t contain an exclamation point?

For that matter, why not write a headline that contains some sort of information? Maybe even writing craft? Read what you’ve written and write the headline based on the content, not the other way around.

Words, Harry, are able to convey emotion and have weight based purely on their combination. For example, you currently state “Ian McKellen will not be playing Dumbledore!!” Okay, first of all, use capitalization properly. But that’s beside the point.

Your headline actually contains information, but it does not require two exclamation points. In fact, it does not even need one. You could have said, “Rumor Denied: McKellen Will Not Play Dubmledore” or “McKellen Denies Accepting Role of Dumbledore.”

Rather than giving us a succinct headline, it’s buried in eighteen layers of tripe fit for a fourteen-year-old girl’s love note. Stop it. Damn it, stop it now.

I love movies too. But I can’t read your site anymore. It’s more like reading your diary. Or worse, what you consider your memoirs. Just stop. Now. Save us all the trouble.

Or let me put it in terms you can understand. Stop!! No More Exclamation Points!! They’re Annoying!!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.