A Conversation

Matildia: I want a pony.

Me: It’s not that easy. We need land for the pony to run and eat. Ponies need to be outside.

M: So let’s buy the neighbor’s house.

Me: Well, even if we could afford to buy the neighbor’s house and turn it into a stable, we’d still need permits. I’m not even sure it would be allowed by the county or the city. Plus, that’s still not enough room for the pony.

M: Her name would be Sparkles and she’d be my best friend.

Me: I understand, but ponies cost a lot of money. Can I buy you a plastic pony?

M: I want to be president. Can you make me president?

Me: Why would you want to be president? That’s a hard job.

M: So I could make a law to put dads who don’t buy ponies for their daughters in jail.

Me: That’s not what the president does.

M: Okay, I want to be a Congressman.

Me: Woman. A Congresswoman.

M: No, Congressman. They’re more crooked.

Me: Okay. Still, you have to make laws that make sense and appeal to your voters. The people you’re appealing to can’t vote.

M: If I were president, I’d change that.

Me: But you’re not. You’re a Congresswoman.

M: I don’t want to be a Congresswoman anymore. I want to be a model.

Me: That’s a leap. Why do you want to be a model?

M: Am I not cute enough?

Me: Of course you’re cute enough. I just thought that, well . . . especially considering this conversation . . . that you’re smarter than that.

M: So models aren’t smart?

Me: No, it’s not that. But, you seem to have more depth than using your looks to get ahead.

M: So models are shallow? Are you saying I’m shallow?

Me: No honey, of course not. I’m just saying that being cute is only one of your many great attributes.

M: So you don’t think I’m cute enough.

Me: I didn’t say that.

M: Buy me a magazine. I want to be on the cover.

Me: It doesn’t work that way. You can’t just buy a magazine. First it requires a lot of money and you can’t just use a magazine as your personal corkboard.

M: It’s all about money for you. Don’t you want me to be happy?

Me: Of course. But there are limits.

M: To my happiness? You should be willing to make sacrifices for my happiness. I’m your child.

Me: Well yes. And I do make sacrifices. But, honey, there are limits to how much money I have.

M: We’re not talking about money here, father. We’re talking about my ever-lasting happiness.

Me: You’re only eight. The criteria for your ever-lasting happiness changes on a daily basis.

M: So keep up. Do I need to provide you with a tally sheet?

Me: No. I understand what you need to be happy.

M: So we’re clear then.

Me: On what makes you happy? Sure.

M: Good. Just have the pony delivered to the back yard.

Discuss Watching the Ponies