Five Self-Help Books I Plan to Write, Publish and Market in 2004

1. Is This Bad?: A Guide to Refrigerator Leftovers
2. Will You Check My Mole?: An Amateur’s Guide to the ABCs of Party Mole Checking
3. You’re Not Going To Eat That Whole Gallon of Ice Cream?: 1001 Things Not to Say To A Pregnant Woman
4. Marrying Your Maid for Green Card Purposes For Dummies
5. No I Won’t Fix Your Computer: How To Change Your Name, Address, Telephone Number and Social Security Number for Geeks Who Want to “Disappear” and Not Update Their Sister-in-Law's Virus Definitions While Farscape is On Ever Again