Scene: Playing in the snow.
Gert: I like to eat snow. It's cold and wet.
Me: Yeah, but it can be dirty.
Gert: It's not dirty! It's clean. Finnegan eats it.
Me: Well, as Frank Zappa said, don't eat the yellow snow.
Gert: Why?
Me: Because that's where Finnegan went potty.
Gert: Oh. Can I see it?
Me: Um. Okay, let's see if we can find some. I don't see any.
Gert: But I want to see it.
Me: Why? Why do you want to see a peecicle?
Gert: I want to see it. Finnegan! Go pee! Go pee!
It was at this point that I brought her inside and called DCFS on myself. They told me that telling your daughter about yellow snow is not an offense. Though profoundly stupid, considering she's three and obsessed with bodily functions anyway.
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