52 Things: Favorite Breakfast Item

The girls are on Spring Break and we’re planning a home version of IHOP for lunch. We’re going to head up to the store and pick up things like chocolate chips, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, whipped cream and a variety of tasty syrups (hopefully small) and we’re going to have a carb-fest for lunch by creating whatever Frankenstein pancake we can think of.

And why not? Breakfast is clearly the very best meal of the day. Did you just ask why? Surely you cannot doubt this. Sigh. I’ll explain.

Breakfast is the only meal in which dessert is the main dish. Pancakes? Covered in syrup, sugary fruits, jellies and butter, depending on your personal flapjack fetish. Waffles? Can be made into a cone and filled with ice cream. Yogurt parfait? Nothing more than a fruity, nutty sundae with active cultures. Smoothies? A classed up milkshake.

So, seriously. Let’s not lie about it.

Secondly? Sausage. Bacon. Canadian bacon. Ham. The pig is resplendent at breakfast. It is the centerpiece, the animal of choice. Gut busting porkstraganza. I don’t think we can argue this point. Artery slamming pork fat makes any day brighter.

Plus, the main drink that goes with breakfast isn’t some hoity toity wine. It’s coffee. And usually more coffee than you can physically fit into your body. Tasty, tasty caffeine.

So, what’s my favorite breakfast item? The breakfast buffet.

Breakfast buffets are much better than any other meal’s buffet. They are dripping with cholesterol. Resplendent with crispiness, fluffiness and cheesiness. Most of it is fried and what’s not fried you either drown in butter and syrup or you douse with some sort of cheese or cheese sauce. Vegetables? Put inside eggs, covered with cheese and called an omelet. Usually also filled with ample pork products. And don’t get me started on country gravy.

Cop out? Perhaps. But it’s also the best answer.

I need some sausage.