Friday, September 07, 2001

As I sit here I am looking at a yellow piece of paper that I found in my lunch today. It’s from my daughter. It says, “Have a good day. I love you.” You have no idea how it floored me to find it.

This morning she was inspecting her lunch box and found the love note her mother always leaves her. She’s gotten to the point where she can’t wait until she gets to school to see what Mom does. As soon as the car pulls away the daughter is tearing into her lunch box to see what it says. I remember that feeling of excitement about something. Knowing you have something special waiting just for you. And, the crushing feeling when it wasn’t there. I suppose the daughter needs to know that Mom still loves her before she even leaves the house. She can’t wait until lunch, she must know now.

So, this morning I was jokingly lamenting the fact that no one leaves me a note in my lunch box. Sniff. Wounded bear look, etc. As usual, I went back to sipping my coffee and reading the paper.

It’s normal for the daughter to draw or write in the morning. Most often she’s lost in some little project she’s working on and I’m an insignificant bit of white noise on the borders. She’s in the land of childhood focus. The focus so intense that, in her mind, I imagine she sees herself alone in the world while she works. It’s amazing.

When I got to work, I found the note. There was an audible sound of glass shattering. That was my heart breaking and melting. We view children as these little fragile beings who need to be protected from the world. For some reason we see them as easily corrupted or destroyed by any moment that might possibly shake their confidence.

Turns out, it's the other way around. My daughter saw that I was unhappy and feeling left out. She wanted to protect me from that pain. What better way to do it than to provide me with what I needed? Just a little note that reminds me that I’m loved.

And it worked. I made it through today, with no problem. In fact, I’ve had a big grin on my face and wanted to show everyone my little note.

“See? I’m loved. This proves it!”

When Monday rolls around and no one is looking, I’ll check my bag. Maybe I’ll have another note, and for another day I'll have proof that I'm loved.

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