Random Thought Theater

It has occurred to me that I don’t get the level of traffic on the site that I had hoped for because I am not speaking to my audience as I should be. Therefore, I am going to change the style of my blog from this moment on.

I will now use words like “hella” and phrases like “get your (blank) on.” This way I can get a younger audience to my page. I’ll also pick up a few of the better Rapisms that exist. Like adding a “z” and in “l” to words.

So, instead of seeing the usual posts, you will see:

“Yo my peeps! This weekend I went to the movizzles and saw the schnizzlin’ Hulkafizzle. It was hella good! The Hulkafizzle really makes you want to get your green on. He’s got it going awwwwn! That Hulk is a mad sick freak! A freakavizzle mutantizzle! Word.”

Essentially I said, “I saw the Hulk this weekend and I liked it” (I did neither). However, the simple statement doesn’t really hit it up with the Ganstas, Sk8rs, Hip Hoppers, the Emo kids, Grunge Core, Rap Metal or Club kids.

The danger of doing this, of course, is getting the kids all up in my grill about being a faker.

To those kids I want to say, in all seriousness, “You got me bent, I ain't no faka.”

All of this begs the question : Is there a Hip Hop spell checker? Because I don’t know how to spell the lingo. What would my new-improved-now-with-more-youth-factor Blog be if I had poor spelling. Those kids would see that I wasn’t “for real” if I misspelled things.

Earlier this week my lovely wife made a “Better than Sex” cake for a co-worker’s birthday party. The cake was a big hit with the chocolate loving women in her office (read: all of them). It had roughly 8,000 calories and 332 grams of fat per bite. But, admittedly, it was good.

However, I doubt the name. I mean, the cake really was good. Better than sex? Well . . . I doubt it. Clearly the people who invented the recipe had never experienced sex. Either that, or they were bitter house-bound curmudgeons who can’t actually get what the title implies and they are compensating.

Of course, depending upon the person, the cake and sex do have two things in common: Nuts and Cool Whip.

Give Me a Shout Out!