But screw it. I need to write. Everyone who is clamoring for my time can just sit tight. Why? Because I’m doing nothing of my own. Not a damn thing. I’ve got novels that have to be written. Yes, actual novels. But by the time I’m done working, doing my other stuff, getting the kids in bed and reminding my wife that I still can recognize her by sight and, quite possibly, by name, there’s no time for my stuff.
I guess I fancy myself a writer, though it’s hard to tell by the dreck I publish here. I have actual ideas and things to say. One of my unwritten novels deals with technology and religion. I’d like to write that. Another deals with political unrest and business. I’d like to write that too. Another one deals with the mere concept of what human life actually is. Guess what? I wouldn’t mind writing that as well.
But, instead, I spend my days working on other people’s projects. I don’t have one of my own damn it. I’d like to spend some part of my time actually doing something that benefits me.
Perhaps I’m being selfish. Maybe I am selfish, I don’t know. But I keep signing on to more and more projects that are the brainchild of other people. Nothing that comes from my own head.
What really hurt was when I wrote about animation last week. At the heart of that little piece was something about creativity. Something that I fancy that I have. But I don’t use it. Not in the least.
I’m tired, I guess. Tired and restless. Or something.
The highlight of my day today? Seeing Cory Doctorow on The Screen Savers talking about privacy. Oooh. Exciting. But, one of my favorite authors and Cyberactivitsts talking to Leo Laporte is pretty cool, I guess.
But even my wife is starting to worry about my TechTV watching. She told me the other day that I talk as if the hosts of the shows are my friends. That’s not a good sign is it? I mean, they don’t talk directly to me. That would be silly. Besides, it’s not my fault that the only shows on TV that talk about what I’m interested in are on TechTV. It’s not like there’s MTV: Indie Pop. The world isn’t exactly beating down Robert Schneider to do his own TV show.
So I watch TechTV. Only because DirecTV doesn’t carry NASA. I watch that on the web.
Even my life hasn’t been that exciting. At least, not exciting enough to write about. The kids are as cute as ever. But, really, writing about how Matilda read 320 minutes on her summer reading program yesterday isn’t all that interesting to the rest of the world. True, every morning Gertrude refuses to eat her breakfast only to run and get a spoon, climb on my lap and then eat my cereal. That’s damn cute. But not worth a page of writing.
I need to get out of this creative rut I’m in. Or, the lack of creative rut I’m in. I’m just in a rut. I need a mental tow truck.
But, instead, I’m going to rewrite someone else’s case studies. I quiver with excitement.
Maybe my buddy Leo Laporte will come over and help.
Crap. TechTV hosts are not my friends. TechTV hosts are not my friends*
*DISCLAIMER: Gary O’Brien fully understands that TechTV hosts are not his friends. He is in no way deluded or dangerous. His wife made this comment in jest because he has been trying to get caught up on all the TechTV he hasn’t gotten to see since Todd moved back to Oregon. Gary would, however, like everyone to know that Quickdraw McGraw and Hong Kong Fuey are his friends and that they are coming over for dinner tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment