Monday, December 20, 2004

Things My Father Told Me I Never Should Have Believed

That he was a sailor in the Bolivian Navy. (Bolivia is landlocked.)

That the knife he carried when we went hiking was to kill bears. (No bears in Missouri anymore.)

He played professional ice hockey but he couldn’t ice skate, so they let him use roller-skates. He was fired because the puck kept going between the wheels.

That I’d have to sit in the rafters for a hockey game.

That Vaughan Monroe sang with mashed potatoes in his mouth.

That the scar on his chest was from being bayoneted in the Korean War. (He got it while scaling a fence running away from trouble when he was a kid.)

That “Roof Tag” is a perfectly reasonable game for kids to play in the city of Chicago.

That liver/beer/coffee/beans will grow hair on my chest.

That playing tackle football without pads was unsafe, but my brothers sitting on me (most who played football) was perfectly reasonable.

I don’t know who tied me to a tree when I was three, but I should have complained about that more.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:46 PM

    You mean I've been avoiding all that stuff not to grow hair on my chest for all these years for nothing? (Or was it not to put hair in my nose?)

    What about the stew he used to make with pork and beans and hotdogs when he was a cowboy?

    Your sis, Teri

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  2. Ah yes, Cowboy Stew. I still love that stuff. But he was not just a cowoby. He was a Cowboy Soldier. Big difference. I think.

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  3. Of course there aren't any bears in Missouri...your father killed them all.

    The fact that your sister was trying to avoid hair on her chest is somewhat frightening.

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