Thursday, January 11, 2007

Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space

As my recently Black Cherry colored wife mentioned on her blog, our family is planning a vacation blow out to end all vacation blow outs (she also neglected to mention her new shoes and pedals that are now fully installed and adjusted to her needs so that she can learn to spin in a perfect circle).

Literally. We're taking the girls to Walt Disney World before Gert starts kindergarten. After that, no more theme park based trips. If we travel, it will be somewhere we've never been and will be interesting. I have a list of destinations and attractions that I'd like to visit in my lifetime and they aren't in Florida. For example, I want to tour the entire of the Smithsonian. I know I'm alone in that goal, the girls can go to a spa that week, but I want to wander that sucker for as long as it takes.

Not that there's anything wrong with Disney. I like Disney World. I think it's pretty well documented. That being said, the US is a huge country, with a ton of things to see. I'd love to explore it. The deserts, the mountains, the plains, the coasts (and think of all the places my wife and I could ride our bikes!).

So, in the process of planning the blowout we're looking to take the price down as low as possible. It helps having a place like Magical Journeys to help. They are fantastic. They will not only book your vacation, they will monitor package prices and get you the better deal as time goes on. Just today they emailed me to let me know they revised my price due to a new package released by Disney and they saved me $408. That's $102 per family member. Awesome.

Recently, after using a new-fangled technique we discovered in Popular Pneumonix called "Arithmetic" ("Arithmetoc" according to Tom Waits) we figured out that driving, even with adding two days and an extra night in the kennel for Finnegan, would save us $780. Don't weep for Finnegan. His kennel has a pool and he gets to play all day with a bunch of other dogs. He likes it better than home.

Because we revised with driving, the girls are now moaning with the following complaints:

1. Two days each way? OMG! That's terrible. 11 hours the first day? Ugh. This sucks. Why can't we fly?
Answer: Raise $780 and you can fly. Also, I'm planning the stops in central to southern Georgia on the way down and Tennessee on the way back so that there will be an indoor pool and kid stuff. Plus, more money for souvenirs.

2. In our SATURN? Oh, it's so small!
Answer: You underestimate your Grandfather's need to pamper his girls. Just wait, if he doesn't offer the van he'll offer to drive us down in the RV himself, book massages for each of the girls on the way down and hire butlers to wait on them hand an foot. It is his life's mission to make sure his little girls are happy and nothing will stop him. And, also, I once drove to Texas with my mom and brother in a car about the same size as the Saturn and we lived. And, also, my brother farts. A lot.

3. We will not get to fly through a cloud.
Answer: Dad is crushed. Gert's biggest dream was to fly through a cloud. Dad is a horrible person who has crushed the hopes and dreams of a sweet, loving five-year-old who just this morning told him that he does the best job of putting the barrettes in her hair so that it doesn't fall in her eyes and it looks best when he does it. The same girl who, a mere hour before, had told him that she was glad that he and mommy got married because she wouldn't want any other mom and dad because we are the best. And that stupid daddy had to go and ruin it.

All this following on the heels that while we were in Tennessee I could not find her the actual Wabash Cannonball. And, believe me, I spent more time trying that I really should have.

But $780 can buy a hell of a lot of bribes to heal that wound. Not to mention that we can always fly to Chicago for a fun weekend and still fly through a cloud for a much cheaper price.

Ultimately, Gert seems to have forgiven me. The indoor pools helped. However, when I explained that driving would give us more mobility, including driving out to the Cape to visit Kennedy Space Center.

"What's that," she asked.

"That's where they launch the space shuttle."

"THE SPACE SHUTTLE!" Her eyes were wide and I described the rocket garden and getting to see assembly rooms and things that have actually gone to space. She was rapt, excited, dreamy even.

She is so our daughter. A little geek at heart.

"Yeah, but dad," she said in closing, "you know they won't let you go in a rocket. You aren't allowed."

"I know, Gert. I know. That's what it says on the court order."

2 comments:

  1. ...I want to wander that sucker for as long as it takes.

    Suckers. There's 19 of 'em.

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  2. True. But I was thinking of the concept of the Smithsonian as one giant obstacle. When I was looking at the list of the museums, I figured I'd find one that I would just skim over. The information center was the one that sounded least interesting. I've also heard that the Postal Museum is surprisingly fun.

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