Saturday, January 20, 2007

Special Powers?

So, I have my bike back and after 9 days with nothing to ride, I was eager to ride again. I was setting up the trainer and testing the contact between the wheel and the fly wheel thing (I have no idea what it's called).

I noticed Gert standing behind me, looking a little like Damien from the Omen. "Hello Father," she cooed in a sinister tone. "How do you start pedaling on the trainer?"

"Oh, just like normal sweetie," I responded. "I put it in a light resistance and start pedaling. It's a little different than starting on the street, but not too much."

"I see," she said, her expression unchanging. "And, exactly how fast can you go on the trainer? How do you get going that fast?"

"It's a combination of the resistance and the gear I'm in honey. Believe it or not, if the resistance is a little higher than it is now I can do a sprint that gets that wheel really spinning."

"Will you show me Father?"

"Sure!" Loving the attention and getting to talk about cycling with my progeny, I jacked up the resistance and worked my way into a sprint. I wasn't warmed up, so it was only a half-hearted sprint, but surely impressive to a five-year-old girl who rides a sixteen inch bike.

Gert clapped, but not in a childish way. It was more mocking. "Excelent Father," she said. "However, while your skills on the bicycle are admirable, you would not be able to match my riding abilities on my bike. I can go fast, you see. Faster than you. Quick as a wink! And it is not because I need to train, dear Father."

"Uh, okay honey."

"No, Father. Training is not a need for me. Because of my special powers, I will always win. So go ahead and train your heart out. Cough your lungs up onto the tarmac Father, because you will never be able to vanquish me and my special powers! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

And she was gone. Shaken, I went on with my training. However, I was left with a cold feeling in my stomach that something important and life-altering had just happened. Upon getting off my bike and cleaning up I realized what I had to do. It is clear to me now.

I will lie about Gert's age, get her a junior road bike and start entering her into boys' juniors races. Because, with her attitude and special powers she will eat them alive on the road.

Oneofusoneofusoneofus.

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