Open Letter to Dipship McDickweed

Actual conversation:

“What are you listening to?”

“Of Montreal”

“I’ve never heard of them.”

“That’s too bad. They’re really good.”

“You listen to weird music.”

And that is where the conversation turned from bad to worse. I listen to weird music? Why, because you haven’t heard of the band? That doesn’t make sense. If I only listened to music that other people already knew then I’d be, well, you. I don’t want to be you.

Here’s the thing, cupcake. Good music isn’t always what’s popular. For every Beethoven there’s a Paganini. So, quit pretending you’re special because you follow the norm. You aren’t. Nor am I special because I don’t. I don’t make fun of you because you listen to Fall Out Boy and U2. I should, mind you, because they are boring and suck. But I don’t tell you that because I respect your right to enjoy your music.

So stop making fun of mine. Especially considering the fact that you’ve never listened to it. Next time you do I will tell you about how you look like a dipshit in that shirt and that your hair is ugly and your kids are probably going to end up with serious social problems because their parents are dipshits with bad shirts and ugly hair. Though your kids have gorgeous hair. That’s true. Too bad you are a dickhead.

Anyway, that’s my story. Of course, Of Montreal is kind of weird. But you wouldn’t know that, would you dipshit? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

P.S. Suck it.

Thank you for your time.