I'm sitting here writing something about "Maximizing Heart Health". This is funny because, well, I've devoted my life to perfecting the opposite. Cheese is my friend. But this is what they pay me to do. Fools.
So I just wrote the sentence, "Heart attack and stroke may result when plaque bursts or cracks, causing clotting material to be released into the blood stream."
Now I swear I have hunks of plaque floating around my blood system and the damned clotting material is chasing it, just hoping to clog one of my arteries. Leg? Brain? Heart? It's just a matter of time before everything goes black.
The upside? Everything tingles.
Also my wife called and left me a weird message.
"Honey, we're out of dog food."
I thought, um, okay. We don't have a dog. Weird.
I'm not going to tell her though because, honestly, I like it when she goes nuts. She'll believe anything. Last year, during sales meeting, she was so stressed that I had her believing I was a pirate for a week. She even let me wear an eye patch.
Okay, I made that last part up. Time to make coffee.
No comments:
Post a Comment