When she returned from Diana’s on Friday, she was refreshed and revitalized. She had a great time and adjusted rather quickly. It was a warm day, so she spent part of it outside playing. Better yet, Diana had hermit crabs! They were very fun to watch as they let them play in the water in the bathtub (though probably not the recommended care environment).
We were all happy, it was a gorgeous day. I had promised to share my dinner with my reluctant toddler and so we all debated on where to go for a celebratory dinner. We tossed around a variety of small pizza joints in the area until we settled on a pasta restaurant just down the street. We had a good coupon, which is how we make all of our dining decisions. If we don’t get a significant portion of the bill reduced or something of equal or lesser value for free, we don’t go. Plus, we have a variety of coupons for local merchants thanks to Matilda’s good grades. It seems in our municipality your intelligence is rewarded with a lesson in binge eating and morbid obesity through a stack of free cheese garlic bread coupons.
At the restaurant, we were greeted by a very nice server who quickly engaged with the kids.
“How are you today,” she asked innocently.
“I’m good,” shouted Gertrude. The server tried to speak again, but Gertrude continued. “It was warm today. I didn’t need a coat! I played on the swings and went down the slidey board at Meemee’s house. The puppies nipped at me but Great Grandma’s cat licked me. His name is Anthony. He smells like kitty pee pee.”
Stunned, the server again tried to ask us a question, but Gertrude was taking control of the situation. “I would like a drink,” she informed the server.
“What would you like,” she asked, bemused by this goofball.
“Soda.” We overruled her and opted for milk instead. A few minutes later the server was walking back down the aisle with our drinks. When Gertrude saw her she yelled, “HERE COMES THE LADY!” This theme was repeated throughout the evening. Where is the lady? There is the lady. The lady brought me more milk. The lady looks confused. Hi lady, would you like a pizza ball?
Both of the kids opted for a personal sized “Kid” pizza. It’s roughly the size of a Frisbee and very thin. Mom and I had more adult fare in the form of pastas with impossible names. To be honest, the names were so stupefying, we weren’t even sure if we were getting linguini with Italian sausage or fried porcine tendons drenched in the sweetened snot of a boar. Whatever it was, it was good.
Gertrude quickly polished off her pizza and started in on mom’s unidentified pasta after a few bites of salad that she sucked the moisture out of, spitting out the dried remains on a bread plate. Thank God we were in the corner.
About her pizza eating. She didn’t actually finish the pizza. The pizza was cut in squares and, with surgical precision, she excavated the middle of each piece, leaving a scarred, squared “U” on her plate. When she had collected all of her “U”s, she then squished them all together to form a discarded pizza ball which, to her credit, she offered to every person in the restaurant.
Then she turned around. In the booth behind her was a boy. A real boy, who was staring at her with dark, mysterious eyes. In a moment not unlike when Davy on the Monkees would meet a girl, their eyes met and sizzled with excitement.
His name was Noshua (yeah, we don’t know either) and he was from Texas. He was three. He blithely asked Gertrude how old she was, disregarding common sense about asking a woman her age. But Gertrude complied and explained she was two.
Noshua told his mother that Gertrude was cute. He continued to work his magic, literally. He grabbed a napkin in one hand and held up one finger on the other. Covering his extended finger with the napkin, he made it disappear. He then looked at her with his eyebrows pumping up and down like Groucho Marx on Viagra, much to Gertrude’s delight. His wily ways were working.
But wait, Gertrude grabbed a napkin and performed the same trick, but hers was impromptu. Noshua was a bit taken aback. And yet, oddly intrigued. Was there nothing this captivating girl couldn’t do? In a moment of overwhelming emotion, a moment that he may regret later in life, he expressed his love for Gertrude. He then invited her over to his house. In Texas. Though he thought otherwise, Noshua was firmly wrapped around Gertrude’s finger. He’d do whatever she said.
But it was not to be. He was flying home that night. There was no time to get to know each other well enough to make that sort of commitment. Dessert was over. It was time to go.
I paid the bill. Noshua’s family paid their bill. The two crazy kids said their goodbyes in the parking lot and were duly buckled into their car seats. And off into that dark night went Noshua.
Gertrude knew he was gone. She told us that he was going to “fly in the sky”. A reference to his departure.
Or perhaps a poetic description of the place her first love will hold in her heart.
Discuss
No comments:
Post a Comment