Tom Cruise Security Alert System

In the interest of national, no, universal security, I've decided that we must institute the Tom Cruise Alert System to protect the general public from exposure and injury due to the floating gravitational field that appears to circulate around him, thus making him the center of his own universe.

It is crude and it is not pretty, but it is meant to save lives and, most importantly, educate people about the dangerous race of Pod People that are commanded by The One True Cruise.

Use this chart wisely and be sure to listen to your local media outlet. Because of the impending release of War of the Worlds, the Tom Cruise Alert System is currently set at High.

Good luck my friends. Be safe. And for the sake of all that is pure and good in this world, please turn off your TV, lest you be hypnotized and taken by The One True Cruise.