I’ve gotten a virus via email. This one is particularly insidious as it skips infecting your computer and infects you directly. It is called the Wombat.exe and it was sent to me by Jimmy in Detroit.

Now, you say this is impossible. That I cannot get a biological virus from an email. I’d say that you are wrong, wrong, wrong. This virus takes the form of a wombat that burrows into your digestive system and sleeps. It slumbers happily until the exact moment you introduce food into your system. Then the wombat sharpens its claws on your intestines.

I went to the certified kneetologist today. He asked me how my knee was feeling. I told him it was feeling surprisingly well and that it seemed to get better every day. He then proceeded to go through his assessment routine and jiggled and jaggled the knee every which way. Now the friggin’ thing hurt.

I got to go to have X-rays. That was fun. Turns out that, other than my kneecap being tilted slightly (it sounds bad, but he didn’t seem worried), it was merely inflamed and irritated (which describes its owner pretty well).

He gave me Celebrex which is supposed to help with the swelling. I’m glad he told me that because I thought it was a mood drug and that I would walk around happy for a week while I took it.

Can’t have that, can we?

No. Never.

Don’t forget to vote for the name of my wife’s new company (see below).

Give me a break. It’s Friday and my knee is swollen. I don’t have a lot more to say than that.

Purple Fuzz Monkey!