We had a wonderful time with the out of towners yesterday. We spent a very hot day at the zoo looking at very hot animals that, in turn, were looking out at us wondering what the hell we were doing.

In the monkey house I SWEAR I heard a monkey say, “Why Gerard, look. Those hairless things keep coming back. Don’t they have their own homes? Go home! Get out of my yard!”

The baby was wonderful all day and didn’t cry once. She became exhausted at one point, near the elephants, and fell asleep on my shoulder. Poor baby. However, in the summer sun it meant that our bodies became melded in one form of sweat and skin. On the walk back to the car I must have lost about thirty pounds. I needed that.

As I said, everything went really well. We all had a wonderful time talking, eating and sweating. At one point Matilda and I had a grape shaved ice. With purple tongues we had the mark of summer happiness.

Only one thing was slightly askew. The baby seemed to enjoy our company’s time with us. She smiled and cooed at them. However, she kept making a rude gesture at the husband. Over and over she’d extend that little middle finger and shoot the guy the bird.

I don’t think he’s ever done anything to offend her. He’s always been very nice. But Gertrude just seemed to take offense at something he did. Maybe she knows something we don’t? Is he listed in the Registry of Baby Enemies? I doubt it. He’s pretty funny with kids and he even gave her a present. She loved the wife though. Maybe later today I’ll ask the baby what was going on. Had they exchanged grunts and drool earlier in the day that we didn’t see? Did she not like his car?

Or maybe she knows he’s the one who gave me the CD with the song about the cows. She hates that song. It goes something like this: “So you wanna know a little bit about little bit about little bit about my cows.”

Matilda had a birthday party after the zoo. She didn’t get home until almost nine and didn’t hit the pillow until near ten. She’s still sleeping.

Lucky kid.

P.S. Didn't see one genetically engineered mutant monkey. Damn.