Ever get the feeling that you’re wallowing? Kind of flip-flopping around on the floor not really going anywhere?

I have that feeling today. I have a ton of work to do and the more I complete, the less I feel I accomplish. I’m like Sisyphus. That damn rock never quite makes it to the top of the hill.

But it’s less my pay work that I feel is wallowing, but my more creative work. I have a ton of things on my plate that I’ve been back-burnering for a great group of people. A short film, a new website, updates to existing websites . . . my own website.

I want to move on to bigger and better things and yet . . . I don’t know how. I don’t know where the time is to do these things. Lest I give up the work that feeds my family. I can’t do that, now can I?

I have two book manuscripts I’ve been working on here and there. They need to get polished and submitted for publication. I need to find an agent. I need to finish writing the story for that short film. I need to start my own website outside of Blog Spot with cool little sections that will amuse the general public.

I need to get those books published. I need to write a book for a friend. I need to find extra time in the day, damn it. Where is it?

My ultimate goal here is to succeed at something. I’m doing well as a freelancer and I’m very happy about that. But I feel like a hired gun, in that respect.

I want something of my own. I have never had something of my own. But what is it and how can I do it?

Since going freelance I feel like I’ve regressed to being a six-year-old again. When I was a Content Manager, I had a career. When I was an Editor, I had a career. Now I have work, but no identity outside of Ugly Shirt Guy. So, I’m at a point where I have to decide what to be when I grow up.

Here are all the things I want to be. Let me know if you have any ideas on how to begin.

Rock Star—preferably lead guitar in a Power Pop trio that specializes in neo-sixties pop.
Film Director—preferably in surrealism.
Animator--or at least “Head of Story” on an animated film.
Mickey Mouse—in Orlando.
Owner of a Drafthouse—preferably in the location of the old Shady Oak Theater.
Crazy Old Guy Down the Street—I think that takes time.
Radio Side Kick—In the local market. Just that goofy guy who says weird things at the wrong moments.
Coffee Shop Owner—Small place that specializes in damn good coffee.
Resort Owner—Pacific Northwest. An old lodge that resembles the old park services lodges from the 1930s.
Trivia Guy—Need to know who played Spider in Goodfellas and how that relates to The Sopranos? Who played drums on “Wouldn’t That Be Nice”? I know . . .

Essentially, I feel it’s time for my grand schemes to come to fruition. I need to take the time to finish what I started.

So, I hereby promise the following:

I will write the story to the short film by this weekend.

I will edit and polish manuscript number one by Halloween. Submit it to agents by Thanksgiving.

I will write John’s book by January. At least the first draft.

I will write the play I’ve been working on by next summer.

I will have my own website up and running before Halloween.

In ten minutes I will post a poll on what my URL should be.

I will solve all the world’s problems by inventing an ink cartridge for printers that never runs out in the middle of a big print job.