I know some of my regular readers will be looking for a post today. However, I have nothing to say. Joking around about things today seems disrespectful.

Someone may expect me to write about September 11, but I won’t do that either. There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said a thousand times over. I could put my own spin on it, but my personal feelings about the events of one year ago, and what has happened to me in the time in between are my personal feelings.

Rather, I sit here remembering how I felt one year ago. When this whole thing began. Oddly, I do not remember the mixture of fear and insanity I felt. The sorrow. I don’t remember how when I was listening to the news via the Internet I desperately wanted to go home.

Instead, I remember the reaction of my employer at the time. My coworkers and I rushed into the President’s office to watch the news coverage. As the first tower collapsed, we were shooed out of the room so they could hold their manager’s meeting.

The company itself did nothing. Said nothing until nearly 4 p.m. It was as if nothing was happening. No information was disseminated. No one set up radios, televisions. No one provided reports. No one passed along a message.

Silence. Complete silence. We sat in our offices, scanning over our lists of friends, trying to remember if we knew someone who worked in the area. One coworker sat in his office, trembling, waiting for the phone to ring. His girlfriend was on a business trip in New York. He knew she was physically okay. But he knew about the fear and chaos in New York. He just wanted to hold her.

So, to my former employer I firmly extend my middle finger on this one year anniversary of their indifference and selfishness. I exult in your failure because of your stupidity and arrogance. I am happy that my friends were able to move on to bigger and better things.

And for the rest of my life, when I mark this anniversary, I will remember how callous and stupid you were on this day.