Well kids, it is done. I have registered Sciencefictiontwin.com. If you type that URL right now you will find . . . well . . . this. However, planning and work are now underway to create the world’s most mediocre website! For your semi-enjoyment! In the very least, I hope to create a website that will provide you with enough entertainment to amuse yourself through at least two mouthfuls of cottage cheese at lunch. Maybe more. Maybe even three.

This means that this website will go on hiatus soon and, eventually, die a horrible death. (Note, just poured coffee all over my chest. It was invigorating.) I’ll be moving all the archives over to the new domain. I don’t know what that will mean for this sucker. We’ll find out. Poor stupid website. It’s served me so well. And yet . . . I need my freedom!

Anyway, I’ll have to take a break from this because the new site needs to be planned, designed, built, loaded and all the other fun stuff that goes along with it. I’m dizzy just thinking about the implications. I’ll have space to store all the embarrassing screencaps I’ve taken from John’s webcam in the last few weeks. I have three gigs of stuff.

I’m pretty sure I know what I’ll be doing. However, I’m just not a designer. I have a gracious offer for help, but the fact remains that I’ll still have to DO it. I’m scared. Hold me.

So, I’m pretty hyped up, even though I’m extremely tired. I had weird dreams last night that kept me from having a good night’s sleep and now I’m walking around, waiting for the dream to become reality.

You see, in my dream, the Earth Roaches were in league with an alien bug that had an amazing armor system, huge, razor sharp teeth and were about the size of a fist. I was running around trying to kill them and save my family. It was kind of like a zombie movie, really. We’d move into one room and lock the door only to find the bugs . . . behind us! Ahhhhh!

Even though I’m an adult, I’m freaked out this morning. I can’t get rid of that creepy, crawly bug feeling. Grrr. I checked my shoes, looked in my cup before I poured the coffee. The whole nine yards.

And you know what? I KNEW those damn roaches would sell us out.

Matilda had her first Brownie meeting of the year yesterday. I didn’t think it would be worse than last year for me, but . . . it is. I went to pick her up and I was chatting with the moms that were there. Matilda saw me, grabbed her backpack and we left. I’m walking down the hall talking to a Mom and the Brownie leader comes screaming down the hall, “SIR! SIR! You have to check out with me!”

Gee. Okay. MAYBE if you MORONS who write the Brownie meeting notices would learn to COMMUNICATE I would have known that I had to check out with Betty Safety. Just like her communications skills were so GREAT that she didn’t actually tell us who to make out the dues checks to. Plus, we didn’t check out last year. We waved to the leader and left. Just like I did.

“I’m Patsy McStupid, the Brownie leader this year.” I’ve met this woman at least ten times. When I was trying to explain to her last year that we couldn’t participate in April Showers because we were already doing a March of Dimes event, she looked at me as if I were speaking Sanskrit.

“Yes,” I said. “I’m Gary, Matilda’s dad. Just like last year.”

These Brownie moms have been so freaked out whenever I’m involved. I feel like they’re going to yell, “MAN!” and run away screaming. Not that any of my male counterparts at Daughter’s school are helping. In the three years Matilda has been attending, I think I’ve seen some of them once or twice. So, these Brownie women have no idea how to react to a man who is involved. Plus, they still think I’m unemployed.

Just wait until I volunteer to run one of the meetings. These Brownie Nazis won’t know what to do. Especially if I wear my shirt with the hibiscus flowers. Mwahahahahaha.