Gary's Pate o'Bitterness, Pt. 3

“I agree with you in principle . . .”

No you don’t. What you do is you agree that morally what I’m proposing is correct, but you don’t want to do it because you want to reap the benefits of what is against what you say are your principles.

It is impossible to agree with someone in principle. That means you agree in thought but not in action. That’s not an option. If your actions don’t support your beliefs then you are a simple hypocrite.

And I say “simple” in the meanest way possible.

This phrase is a cliché designed to allow pseudo-intellectuals and ne’er-do-wells to acknowledge that they know their actions are morally incorrect, but provides them with an excuse to continue doing so.

“Mr. Manson, murder is wrong.”

“I agree with you . . . in principle.”

“Oh, okay. You can go now. My bad.”

It doesn’t work that way. There is no get out of jail free card on principles. Either you agree or not.

In fact, if you don’t agree then say so. I’d prefer the reasonable debate to your rolling over and then not backing up your beliefs. You smarmy weasel.

Or maybe you don’t understand the word. Maybe you think, “Principle” is “Principal.” And you agree with me in the sense that you agreed with Dr. Russell in sixth grade that it was wrong to hide in the girls’ bathroom.