I have nothing to say today. Sorry about that.

If you must, blame Jim. He caused me to use all my funniest jokes earlier today via email. Surely, after such a deluge of grossness, I cannot attempt seriousness. Therefore I will not be posting anything of substance today, be it joke, musing, thoughts, befuddlement or stock tip.

I also blame my wife, who made me wake up this morning and work. Had I been left alone, perhaps my dream state would have allowed me to find some sort of inspiration via the sweet darkness of slumber.

In addition, I'd like to blame Todd, who does not have a nickname. I cannot imagine such a life and I've been fretting over his horrible childhood ever since. I've conferred with many people and we've chosen "Puff Toddy." Todd immediately bought several cream colored linen suits and changed his name to P-Tiddy.

I also blame the March of Dimes, who is forcing me to walk several miles tomorrow in the name of saving children. This is a worthy cause. Yet, after hearing about the "official t-shirt" I will be wearing, which is bright orange, I cannot help but think that the March of Dimes has named me the official traffic cone of 2002.

And finally, I must blame my children for causing me to sing such songs as "Going down the highway, doing 94" and "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi." Had it not been for these moments, I may have been able to muster some sort of creative or communicative energy to post today.

So, clearly, this is not my fault.